Man Defends His Wife For Purposely Dumping Coffee On A Child's Head

Some argued that she indeed deserved it. However, others are not so sure.

coffee, woman, child / Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock / CanvaPro 

After a woman purposefully dumped her entire cup of coffee on a child, most people expected her to deliver an apology, considering that the victim was “just a child.” However, the woman’s husband is proudly coming to her defense, and for a good reason. The incident also sheds light on exactly why parents should discipline their children when they act out of line — before somebody else does. 


The woman intentionally dumped her iced coffee on the child’s head due to her continuous bratty behavior. 

Sharing the story to the subreddit, r/AITAH, one 34-year-old man started off by revealing that he and his wife are happily child-free. The man’s brother, Mack, on the other hand, is dating a woman named Heather, who has three children, including 12-year-old Anna and two sons who are six and eight years old. While the man praises the boys as well-behaved, he claims that Anna is the complete opposite. 

“[Anna] extremely defiant and her mother lets her get away with it,” the man wrote. 


Every year, the man and his family host a weekend barbeque at their camp on the lake. This year, Mack came along with Heather and her kids in tow. From the moment she arrived, Anna was stirring up trouble. 



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“Anna was a [expletive] all weekend. Picking fights with people, throwing tantrums, hitting, etc,” the man wrote. “And Heather just stood back saying. ‘I don't know why she acts like that’ rather than do anything to correct her kid.” 


As the weekend went on, the man's wife grew increasingly annoyed by Anna’s behavior. One night, while all of the adults were gathered on the deck chatting and enjoying cups of coffee, Anna joined and began tormenting all of them. 

“She was told to go play with the other kids several times and she refused,” the man shared. 

Eventually, Anna took notice of a fly swatter and started smacking some of the adults with it, claiming that she spotted flies on them. In the process, she wound up knocking over several cups of coffee, including the one that belonged to the man’s wife. At one point, the man’s wife decided to intervene.

“My wife at one point looked at Heather and said, ‘Either get your kid the [expletive] out of here or I'm going to lose my [expletive],’” the man wrote. He added that before this, he had asked his brother to step in and do something about Anna’s behavior as well. “Heather said in a clipped tone, ‘Anna go play’ and that was it. No follow-through.”


Anna again went up to the man’s wife and whacked her in the forehead with the fly swatter, saying that she noticed a bug. At this moment, the man’s wife had reached her limit. She stood up, grabbed her coffee mug, which was now cold, and dumped the remaining coffee all over Anna. 

“Anna immediately starts crying and Heather flips out, and so does my brother,” the man revealed. They slammed the man’s wife as “immature" and claimed that Anna did not deserve what she got since she was “just a kid.” 

The man’s wife, on the other hand, ignored them and continued to converse with the other adults. 

“But then Heather says, ‘Do you have anything to [expletive] say for yourself?’ And my wife says, ‘Don't let the door hit you and your demon spawn on the way out,’” the man wrote. 


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Although the man believed that his wife’s reaction was justified, some of the other adults who witnessed the incident felt that she owed Anna an apology.

Redditors were divided regarding the issue. Some people defended the woman’s actions against Anna despite her being a child due to her difficult behavior. 

“I have four kids so this isn't just a kidless person agreeing with you. As a mother, if I saw my child hit ANYONE with a fly swatter, I'd get up and hit my kid myself with the damn thing!” one user commented. “Those people are bad parents,” another user noted of the man’s brother and girlfriend. “They need to learn manners and so do their kids.” 

However, other people believed that Anna was acting up for a reason beyond just wanting to be a brat. 


“That kid is so obviously acting out because the adults keep brushing her off,” one user suggested. “She's at the exact age in which she wants to be noticed by her parents, she doesn't feel like a little kid anymore, wants to be included in the ‘grown-up’ stuff, it's literally natural development.” 

“So instead of removing themselves from the situation, they decided to publically humiliate a pre-teen because she dared to want to hang out with the adults instead of her six-year-old brothers …” another user pointed out.

While there could be various reasons why children act out of character, most boil down to them seeking additional attention from their parents. 

“Rarely is it because they’re trying to be a bad or spiteful kid,” psychologist Amy Nasamran wrote in an article. “This is key to remember: behavior is communicative.”

exasperated mom looking at toddler Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock 


While Anna may have not been verbally expressing that she wanted to spend time with the adults and be included in the conversation, her actions depicted her clear frustration and were misinterpreted as bad behavior. 

However, this does not mean that it was necessarily fair to the adults. As Anna’s mother, it was Heather’s responsibility to speak with her daughter privately to get to the root of her bad behavior and do anything and everything she could to fix it. 

Hopefully, next time she remembers to do this before her daughter has more drinks intentionally dumped on her in the future.  

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.