Man Says He’s Refusing To Help Siblings Pay For Dying Mom’s Care Because She Said She’s A ‘Girl Mom’
They went for years without speaking to him.
RODNAE Productions / Pexels One man decided to vent his feelings on Reddit about his family situation, and he chose the forum “Am I the A–hole?” to find out if he was wrong for his actions.
Reddit’s “Am I the A-hole?” is a place where people can go online to talk about conflict in their lives.
He was alone in a family of women.
The eldest of four and the only male began his post by describing his relationship with his mother.
When his younger sisters were born, he was “tossed aside” by his mother. With each new daughter, the treatment “only got worse.”
A little while after, his dad passed away leaving him to be the only man left in his family. He considered himself to be “unwanted” by his mother and “not cared for” by his sisters.
One shocking detail he revealed was that he was usually left home alone, while his mother had her “girl days” with his sisters.
He wrote only “a few times” his mother would look him “in the eye” and apparently she said she forgot he “was there if [he] spoke,”
“There was never any shame in it. I did everything to try and be a good son and to win her love but it is what it is I suppose,” he wrote.
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He left and didn't look back.
When the young man turned 18, he “cut off” communication with his mother and sisters. Then he decided to go to therapy so he could “build up [his] self-esteem and to try and find healing.”
Fast forward years later, and his mother had been diagnosed with ALS, a nervous system disease that weakens muscles.
He found out because his sisters called to let him know, but they also told him that they “never missed him” during all those years they were separated.
“They wanted my help taking care of her and I refused to help,” he wrote.
“They contacted me 4 times now and the last time is when I told them they get nothing out of me.”
“I said I would never lift a finger or spend a cent on mom after she discarded me once she got the girl she wanted,” he continued.
“They say she's still my mom and they're still my sisters and I owe my family.”
His sister had some harsh words to say.
The oldest of the sisters told him that he was being “a selfish, spoiled brat who was acting like a toddler because mommy didn't love him.”
Then to add insult to injury, she told her brother that he was “meant to be an adult and not take 'random sh-t' out on mom.”
He ended the post by asking if he was the “A–hole” in this situation, but many Reddit users assured him that he was not.
“You don't owe her anything. She wasn't there for your needs and you are not required to be there for hers," wrote one user. "Cut them all off and build a happy life."
Another said “I grew up in similar circumstances but my mother was more abusive than what you've described. So let me share the lesson that I learned the hard way with you,”
“Blind faith to family is something that only those with loving families can afford,”
“You can't be a spoiled brat if mommy didn't love you, and why should you intercede with what is obviously karma?”
“Would it make you the bigger person? Sure. But it's not a requirement. You lost your obligation when she started treating you as a burden rather than her child.”
Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She writes for Entertainment & News at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.