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Dad Wonders If He Was Wrong To Have A ‘Day Of Fun’ With Kids After Wife Labels Him An ‘Irresponsible Father’

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Children and father having fun

Parenting dynamics are complicated but trying to see eye-to-eye while raising is essential for all families.

That being said, everyone need some external advice from time to time so that is exactly why one dad turned to Reddit recently.

The father and his wife take care of two kids — an 11-year-old boy and a 13-year-old girl — but when the mother, who is a stay-at-home mom, had to go visit her sick mother, it was up to the dad to take care of them while she was gone.

The father took two days off work and decided to make the time a fun bonding experience with his kids.

However, when the mother came back and the kids told her about their time with dad, she called him irresponsible and a lost cause.

Was the father wrong for spoiling his kids this one time in a long time while their mother was gone?

The father went to the subreddit with 3.5 million subscribers and one of the most active userbases on Reddit — “r/AmItheA--hole.”

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The thread is for exactly what it sounds like — to tell a person whether or not their role in a certain situation makes them an a--hole and to give them a rating based on the stranger’s opinion.

The rating system is based on comments that will either read, NTA, which stands for “Not The A--hole,” YTA, which stands for “You’re The A--hole,” NAH, which means “No A--holes Here,” or ESH, which means “Everyone Sucks Here.”

Once the mom left, the dad decided to have a little fun with the kids and spoiled them for a couple of days.

“My wife usually makes really really healthy food for the kids. So I thought one cheat day wouldn't hurt them,” he explained.

“I made eggs, bacon and waffles for breakfast. The 13yo wanted to eat this curry that my mom makes. So I took the recipe from my mom and prepared that for lunch. The 11yo said that he wanted burger and fries for dinner. So dinner was sorted as well.”

Eating healthy is good, and wanting your children to adopt a healthy lifestyle is also great, but when you try to force those lifestyles onto your kids without ever leaving room for more — for sweets, fast food, takeout — the children may adopt an unhealthy relationship with food.

A balanced diet and lifestyle is what’s important, and developing a healthy relationship with food is important to avoid any eating disorders or false preconceptions.

“They then wanted to watch the new Spiderman movie and make peanut butter ice cream,” he continued.

“My wife doesn't like those kinds of movies so the kids rarely get to watch them either. So basically it was a full day of fun for the kids.”

This is where things start to sound a little controlling from the mother’s end of the parental relationship she has with her kids. First, it’s their diets, and now it’s the movies they watch.

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The next day, he made them a healthy lunch before the mom came back home and took a nap until dinner.

After the kids explained everything, were tucked into bed, and the mother and father talked in their room, she expressed her disappointment.

“She started saying that I'm an irresponsible father and that I shouldn't have been so lenient with the kids for an entire day,” he wrote. “She said that I'm a lost cause at parenting and that she shouldn't have left the kids with me.”

Unsurprisingly, everyone in the comments applauded the father, and some people even shared their own stories about times their fathers would do the same thing.

“Some of my favorite memories. I do remember various sit down meals with the entire family when my mom was cooking, I don't mean to denigrate her at all,” said one of the top comments.

“But that was just.. Normal? Something about the change from ‘normal’ and throwing the rules out with dad was so special. He WAS NOT incompetent. He just.... had us do things dad's way, and it was FUN.”

However, some people pointed out that regardless of the anecdotal evidence, this could create an unbalanced parental dynamic with the kids.

“NTA but you and your wife need to sort this out,” said one comment. “Otherwise, your kids will see you as the fun parent and her as the mean parent. You two, as a couple and as parents, have to be on the same page.”

Growing up, both of my parents were relatively strict, but my sister and I would always know which parent to go to with which thing because one might get madder than the other.

But since they were both like that, there was never really a fun parent or mean parent, we all had fun together and we also all went through struggles together.

Some people pointed out what I feel is the most important piece of this, and that’s the mother’s attitude and parenting style.

They pointed out the healthy meals they made and the fact that they watched Spiderman as being equal to being lenient and irresponsible, saying “This woman needs some kind of counseling if she truly believes this.”

Spiderman is a beloved superhero, and from how the post read, it sounded like the kids were being deprived of that experience, not that they just so happened to not watch them very often.

Whatever the case, the father is nowhere in the wrong for what he did, but many people did find the mother’s behavior concerning.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.