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Dad Refuses To Pay Daughter For Babysitting Her Younger Siblings Because She Lives In His House 'Rent Free'

Photo: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels.
woman working on computer with young kids

A father asked the subreddit s/AmITheA–hole (AITA) if he was wrong for refusing to pay his daughter to babysit her younger siblings.

The father in question wrote into the Reddit forum, a space for people to ask if they’re behaving poorly in various situations in their lives.

He explained that his 20-year-old daughter, who's a college student, lives in his home “free of rent."

He expects her to do the cooking and cleaning “from time to time– typical things you’re expected to do on a daily basis anyways.” 

He stated that she “occasionally” watches over her younger brothers, twin 5-year-old boys, while he’s “busy with work” or when he “needs a break to hang out with [his] girlfriend.”

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His daughter recently approached him to express her concerns about her responsibilities around the house. 

The dad claimed that although his daughter lives in his home rent-free, she doesn't want to babysit her younger brothers because it interferes with her college education.

“She feels I’m putting too much of a workload on her back which I don’t see how,” the man explained.

He said that his daughter told him she’s okay with cooking and cleaning around the house, “but watching over her siblings was annoying and stressful and that it’s taking away from her studies.”

He stated that her attitude “pissed [him] off.”

He argues that his life was more strenuous than hers saying, “I myself went to school while having to pay bills and take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife.”

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He told his daughter she was acting “very privileged,” and that “if [he] could do it, so could she.”

The man reported that his daughter “didn’t like that very much and stormed off into her room.”

He then said that his daughter “went behind [his] back” to tell his sister about “how ‘bad’ I was treating her.”

In an effort to stand up for her niece, the man’s sister called to say that “the least [he] could do was give her an allowance for the chores [he] makes her do.” 

In response, the dad explained that he didn't think it was “necessary” to give his daughter an allowance for babysitting her younger brothers.

His sister told him “not to compare [his] situation to [his] daughter's.”

“Apparently I put myself in the position I was in back then which I guess is a fair argument,” the man claimed.

He went on to justify his actions by exclaiming that because his daughter is “living in my house rent-free and I’m paying for her college, I feel that in of itself should count as an allowance.”

“I just wanted to ask whether I’m wrong for not wanting to pay her extra money to do basic chores,” the dad asked the thread.

He clarified his post, editing it to say that he asks her to babysit “usually three times a week.”

“I don’t see how that’s too much to ask of her,” he said. “It’s usually only for a few hours until I get back home.”

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Reddit declared that he was being an a–hole.

Users argued that their rating was not because he didn’t want to pay his daughter for babysitting, but because of his “dismissive” comment comparing his daughter’s situation to his own experiences.

“That was your own baby and your own decision, same as now. Your daughter has no kids, it’s not her responsibility” to babysit her younger siblings, commented one user.

“Your circumstances are your own making. Her circumstances are due to your choices. She didn’t choose to be born to you. Stop resenting your own kid and your own mistakes,” another user responded.

That user spoke directly to the dad, saying he should “stop treating her like your life partner—she’s your kid. It’s not okay. You don’t get a break from your kids. You are their parent.”

Yet another user pointed out that his daughter came to him “expressing the difficulties she’s having with the added babysitting duties and that it’s negatively affecting her ability to do schoolwork. That’s very specific, not blanket entitlement from her.” 

“What may have been easy for you, may not be for her. People have different stress thresholds. If she's telling you that babysitting is too stressful on top of school and chores, I think you should listen,” someone else stated.

“Household chores [are] fair game, but she hasn’t asked to be a parent,” one commenter noted succinctly.

The father was overwhelmingly voted the a–hole, not because of his refusal to pay his daughter for her labor, but because of his entitlement in asking her to babysit without considering her needs.

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Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.