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Dad Asks If He's Wrong For Calling His Sleeping Wife When He Sees Their Toddler Is Awake Via Baby Camera App

Photo: ANNA GRANT / Shutterstock
Baby in crib

Parenting can be an especially difficult task, for parents who work outside the home and those who stay home.

One father proved this to be true after revealing a recent argument with his wife about their son.

He calls his wife every morning to wake her up after seeing that their toddler is awake via a baby camera app.

One day, he urged her to get up, get their son, and start their day.

She argues that she has a routine that she doesn’t want her husband to get involved in.

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Posting his story on the subreddit, "r/AmItheA–-hole," he asked other Redditors if he was overstepping a boundary with his wife.

He started his post by sharing that he and his wife have a 20-month-old son and that she is a stay-at-home mom while he works six days a week outside the home.

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He still checks in on his son while he is at work via a baby camera app.

"I always check in on my son remotely via our nursery cam app and he's always awake in the mornings around 8:00,” he wrote.

He added that his son has a "great sleep routine," where he is able to put himself to sleep in his crib and sleep through the night for 12 hours.

He wrote that he usually checks the baby camera app around nine or ten in the morning, and usually sees the same thing each time.

"Every time I look though, he's awake in the dark and standing in his crib just waiting," he wrote. "When I see this, I immediately turn on the brightest night light the camera has and speak to him through the camera app. I always tell him good morning and I love him and he usually laughs and says 'Dada.'"

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The man then calls his wife to wake her up and alert her that the baby is awake.

"I usually have to call three to four times and when she finally answers, it's obvious that she just woke up and only because I called," he wrote.

"I tell her that our son is awake waiting for her and that she needs to get up to start their day."

One morning, he called his wife and asked if she was going to get the baby after using the bathroom.

"She said no, she was going to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast, and THEN she'd get him," he wrote.

When he suggested that she get their son after she was finished in the bathroom, he claims that she "flipped out."

"She told me it pisses her off that I call EVERY morning to tell her how to be a mom and that she has a routine," he wrote. "I retorted with 'well, your routine sucks because he's been awake for an hour and you'd still be asleep if I hadn't called.'"

He wrote that it "bothers" him that their baby has to wait for his mother to wake up and get him, and that he most likely needs his diaper changed, is hungry, thirsty, or wants to play.

"Am I wrong though? Do I need to stop?" he wrote.

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Some Redditors defended the man for calling his wife every morning.

“Nah you don't leave a kid who's wet hungry and thirsty in his crib for an hour or more so it suits your wants. Coming from a mom of two and a career nanny, you just don't do that,” one user shared.

“If the genders were switched everyone would be calling the stay-at-home parent negligent. It is NOT ok to leave a toddler standing in their crib for hours at a time, especially since they probably have a dirty diaper,” another user pointed out. 

“She leaves him in the crib awake for hours in the morning. That’s not cool. I couldn’t watch that as the other parent either. Mom apparently needs to go to bed earlier,” another user commented.

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However, others believed that the man should not be getting involved in his wife’s routine. 

“I cannot imagine being a micromanaged mom like that, remotely. Wow,” one user wrote. “Is your son crying? No? Then he’s fine. If he’s uncomfortable, he will call for his mom.”

“Instead of trying to micromanage her, why not hire a mother's helper or part-time nanny for mornings to help her get going?” another user suggested. 

“I’d be more concerned if mom left him in his crib or alone a majority of the day tbh. Baby boy doesn’t seem phased,” another user commented. 

He followed up with his story sharing that his wife suffers from postpartum depression and chronic fatigue, which could be a factor of not getting their baby earlier. 

Despite his daily calls, he believes that she is not a negligent mother. 

“My wife is an amazing woman and an amazing mother. My son is just so happy all the time, he's super smart, full of energy, and extremely healthy,” he wrote. 

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with what my wife does during the day, I just wish she'd start her day earlier for my little man.” 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.   

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