Chemistry Between Two People Depends On These 5 Traits

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Couple silhouetted against moon

People often talk about chemistry between two people in regards to romantic relationships but, until you’re in a relationship and really wondering whether this magic word applies to you and your partner, it can be hard to describe and understand.

When people experience chemistry, it comes in a few different shapes and sizes, depending on what type of relationship you're referring to, such as romantic, platonic, professional, etc.

What is romantic chemistry?

Everyone aspires to this perfect symbiosis between partners, where no one can argue that they’re soulmates in perfect harmony.

Maybe that’s a bit rosy. Every relationship will have some highs and lows, but one in which there is strong chemistry recovers quickly from the lows and enjoys even higher highs.

After being with someone for a while, you might start to wonder if you have that fabled romantic chemistry.

There is no exact science as to what causes chemistry between two people (in spite of the fact that it has the word “chemistry” in it), but there are some traits that a relationship with strong romantic chemistry should have.

None of these traits are the kinds of things that can be forced. As with any relationship, communication and effort are essential to fostering growth and to create chemistry but, as Clinical Hypnotherapist and Spiritual Life Coach Keya Murthy puts it, “You can’t fake it. If two chemicals will react with each other is part of the inherent quality of the chemicals. For humans too, it is just that. Either you two have romantic chemistry or you don’t.“

RELATED: The Role Of Chemistry Between People In Real Love

Here are 5 traits that are indicative of chemistry between people.

1. Mutual Fascination

The first sign of chemistry is when partners share a romantic fascination with one another. They won’t run out of things to talk about ordinarily because their interest in one another goes far beyond the usual conversational topics and pleasantries.

Partners that have romantic chemistry will have a genuine interest and investment in what one another think and have to say.

This phenomenon is all a part of “getting into each other’s heads,” which is often the most easily recognizable trait in a relationship with romantic chemistry. 

The process by which partners get into each other’s heads begins with empathy.

2. Strong Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings. A lot of people are naturally empathetic and can show empathy toward anyone.

The kind of empathy between people with romantic chemistry is a lot deeper than the usual sort of empathy.

Empathy for a partner in a relationship with romantic chemistry means they will hurt when their partner is hurting. This emotional communication will become totally automatic between partners that share strong romantic chemistry. 

RELATED: The Real Difference Between Chemistry And Love

3. Emotional Infectiousness

As romantic partners grow and live life together, they will be able to pick up on extremely subtle queues about how they’re feeling and will naturally mirror one another’s feelings through their emotional connection.

They’ll take on the burden of the stress and sadness that their partner is experiencing instinctively. These sorts of romantic partners will feel joy for one another’s successes and be a shoulder to cry on without ever really thinking about it.

Instinctively sharing in one another’s emotions in this way should be mistaken for doing so effortlessly. Strong relationships are all about putting in an effort.

Partners that share romantic chemistry will expend effort for one another without even thinking.

4. Being In Sync

These are all of the stereotypical things that tight-nit couples do together. Finishing each other’s sentences, each knowing what the other’s thinking without vocalizing it, adopting one another’s hobbies, communicating through body language, etc.

Couples that have really strong romantic chemistry and have spent years fostering their love will be totally in step with each other. This doesn’t mean that there won’t ever be friction or that they can’t ever have a disagreement.

Being in sync means always coming back seeking love and honest resolution.

5. Physical Attraction

This one sort of goes without saying, but is deeper than initial impressions might indicate.

Most of us find lots of people physically attractive but that doesn't just have to do with looks.

Sexual attraction between people with romantic chemistry will be about all of the physical qualities of each partner and intimate familiarity.

Can other people see the chemistry between two people?

When people think of the optics of a relationship they often think of PDA or even strife, but chemistry is also easy to recognize.

When people have a lot of romantic chemistry they might finish each other's sentences or just always seem to be on the same page.

They'll think and talk about each other even when their partner isn't around. They'll feel each other's feelings and share the same sense of humor.

It's very plain to see when two people share great chemistry.

RELATED: What Happens To Your Brain On A Chemical Level When You Fall In Love?

Dan O'Reilly is a writer who covers news, politics and social justice. Follow him on Twitter.

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