Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
There are just as many ways to say the wrong thing as there are to say you're sorry. Try these.
By Yona Dervishi — Last updated on Nov 23, 2022
Knowing we hurt a loved one is the worst feeling ever. Such a realization brings about uncomfortable emotions like shame, regret, and even fear as we worry about how our significant other is doing and the status of our relationship.
But if you've recently fought with your partner, it's important to put any defensive feelings aside if you want to sincerely apologize to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
“After a fight, it is important to take a step back and allow yourself some time to reflect on what happened. Ask yourself, other than the fact that you ended up fighting, what exactly are you sorry for? Were you rude, unfair, defensive?" says Ann Papayoti, a relationship and wellness coach.
"Once you are aware, take ownership of your actions," she explains. "Intended sincere apologies can go wrong if you aren’t committed to taking responsibility for whatever you said or did without making excuses or sourcing blame."
"Apologies are always best offered in person so that sincerity isn’t questionable," she Papayoti continues. "But if it must be done in text or a call to be timely, communicate that you are sorry for what happened, for what you said or did, and ask to meet up with them so you can talk it through."
Examples of How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend After a Fight
1. "I'm sorry. I know now that I could've done things differently instead of making a poor decision. I regret acting the way I did and take full responsibility for my actions."
2. "I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I know I can't. I regret what I did to hurt you. I'm so sorry and I will show you that I won't hurt you like that again and try my best to earn your forgiveness."
3. "I can't say I'd be able to forgive me if I were in your shoes... and if I did, I know it'd take some time. But I sincerely hope you believe that I'm sorry. I don't expect you to forgive or trust me any time soon, but I hope we can still work toward reconciliation so that, perhaps in the future, I will show you that I'm capable of putting in the work to regain your trust."
4. "I love you so much, yet I let my anger get the best of me when I shouldn't have. I'm really sorry for what happened. I'm going to work on my anger problems so it doesn't happen again."
5. "I realize now that I didn't show you the respect or consideration you deserve and I should have behaved differently in that situation. I ended up wounding you without meaning to, but I see where I went wrong now. I'm so sorry and it won't happen again."
6. "I know I hurt your feelings yesterday when I got snappy. You were only trying your best, and I shouldn't have overreacted. I was wrong to treat you like that and I apologize."
7. "I promise you that from now on, I'm going to work on managing my stress so I don't end up taking everything out on you. Please call me out if I ever do this again. I want to do better for you."
8. "I'm really sorry for what I said. It's never okay to speak to someone I love and respect that way, and I understand that now. Moving forward, I'm going to try thinking more before I speak."
9. “I’m sorry I doubted you. I know you're extremely capable and I shouldn't have invalidated you like that. I want you to know I truly do value your experience and knowledge and I appreciate how much you've helped me because of it.”
10. “You have every right to be frustrated and upset. What I did was hurtful, and I regret it. I'm really sorry.”
11. “I feel awful about what I did. You are so important to me, and I’m sorry I acted in a manner that suggested otherwise. I want my actions to reflect how important you are to me, not the opposite.”
12. “I know that I really messed up this time. I take full accountability for everything and I won't do something like that again. I hear your pain and frustration, and I'm sorry.”
13. “I wish I had thought before I acted. I made a big mistake. You didn't deserve to be yelled at like that. I'm so sorry.”
14. "Just saying 'sorry' doesn't feel like it's enough. I want to make it up to you. Is there anything I can do?"
15. "Even though I thought I had the best intentions in mind, I shouldn't have used such hurtful language. I'm really sorry for talking to you like that and I'm going to think more carefully about how I word things in the future."
16. "I don't expect your forgiveness. I just want to tell you that you didn't deserve to be treated in that manner, and I am sincerely sorry for what happened. I'm learning to do better, but that doesn't excuse my actions."
17. "I'm so sorry I let you down. I'm going to try my hardest to make sure I'm always there for you moving forward. I am willing to put in the effort to make our relationship work because it means so much to me."
18. "I regret the fight we got into last time. I feel like 'sorry' doesn't cut it, but I genuinely am so sorry for the mean things I said. I love and cherish you, and hope you can forgive me. I'm going to do my best to prevent my actions from letting us fall into another fight like that again."
19. "I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. The way I acted was extremely immature and you didn't deserve that. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to show that I can be mature to make things better between us."
20. "Now that I've taken some time to think about last night, I realize I crossed the line. What I did was awful, and you've got every right to be hurt and offended. I'm truly sorry. I'm going to work on my behavior so that I don't ever lash out like that again."
21. "You're an amazing boyfriend and I love you so much. I feel terrible about letting you down the way I did. If you're willing to forgive me, I promise I'll do better. I'm truly sorry and I want to be there for you."
22. "I feel terrible about the way I acted toward you. It was uncalled for and extremely rude. I really regret hurting you and want to express how sorry I am. Would you be willing to meet up later to talk about it?"
23. "I'm so sorry for blowing up like that. It's never okay to take out my own issues on you. I promise I'm going to seek professional help so I can learn how to process my frustration appropriately. I want to treat you like my equal and like the man you are, who I love and respect and care about."
24. "I can't even find the words to explain how sorry I am for what happened. I feel terrible for talking over you and tearing you down and sincerely want to make it up to you. You're extremely important to me and I want to prove it. What can I do to make us OK again?"
More for You:
Yona Dervishi is a writer and former YourTango editorial intern. She covers topics pertaining to news and entertainment, relationships, and lifestyle.