Why You Can't Mistake Addiction For Love

Photo: Getty
woman holding man

By Isabelle Zanzer

Is it possible that we, as human beings, find joy in pain?

The pain of putting ourselves into questionable situations of which we already know the likely conclusion. We push the limits to prove a point. Or, better yet, to see if we might be the one-in-a-million exception.

Chasing love is a conquest that requires going big or going home. So, we are jumping down a window before thinking and falling without knowing if we will be caught.

We hope to experience the warmth and safety of having someone beside us, the one that would make each day a better day. 

We hope to be someone’s safe haven.

Yet I had a front-row seat to watching someone mistake addiction for love and turn a human being into a personal heroin problem.

RELATED: 35 Addiction Recovery Quotes To Give You The Mental Strength To Continue Moving Forward

She who shall not be named couldn’t have possibly been in love, but the sight of his name on her phone made her heart skip a beat.

I watched two individuals who had nothing in common fight every day in the marry-go-round of “you started it first.” 

Because that’s what happens when a toxic person enters your life. You become anguished by your own reality. You push people away for a person who doesn’t even deserve a second of your time.

Psychology Today describes addiction as a “Compulsive act to which users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.”

Addiction comes in many different forms and is usually associated to drugs, alcohol, or gambling.

When we think of addiction, we think of a substance or a mental state we keep going back to.

But did we ever think that we could become addicted to a person?

Now is the time to think about it.

The compulsive eagerness to always be with them when your mind tells you that it’s a really bad idea? The guilt that comes from being with a person you shouldn’t be with? 

RELATED: No, You Can't 'Save' Your Addicted Partner

Love is a powerful tool that makes people do the impossible. Love is an emotion described in books and movies as being wonderful, complete, and enjoyable.

But when love becomes a vicious cycle of lies, insomnia, and constant tears, what does that tell us? It tells us something is wrong.

We change as individuals. Our hopes and goals change. And, possibly, those you once held so close to your heart become those who are holding you back.

If your goals aren’t aligned, your lives aren’t either.

Addiction may be powerful, but what we often forget is the power we have within it. A force much bigger than we can possibly imagine.

And this is why you can, and should, let go of anyone holding you back. A reminder that saved one person from her addiction, and a reminder that could possibly save someone else. 

Every respectful person deserves to be respected in return; welcome to the human race.

If you find that you have a person or people in your life who have difficulty giving you the respect you give them, you can easily tell them to go away. 

So, do yourself a favor and leave the toxic people behind you.

Those that don’t respect you, those who hold you back and use you as a punching bag. Because, as Meghan Trainor already said in a catchy tune, you deserve better.

If you or someone you know is suffering from addiction, there are resources to get help. For more information, referrals to local treatment facilities and support groups, and relevant links, visit SAMHSA’s website. If you’d like to join a recovery support group, you can locate the nearest Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings near you. Or you can call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-799-7233.

RELATED: Getting Sober: Why Overcoming Addiction On Your Own Is Totally Possible

Isabelle Zanzer is a writer and storyteller whose work has appeared in Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and Unwritten. She's currently a writer and editor for Mogul, MillionairesView, and Thought Catalog. Follow her on Twitter for more.

This article was originally published at Unwritten . Reprinted with permission from the author.