What You Need To Know When I Can't Find The Right Words To Say

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woman distressed

By Paola Angeline

Normally, there are two ways in which people convey their thoughts and emotions: verbally or through writing.

I, for one, admire those who are eloquent in both methods; this is due to the fact that I have always perceived myself as an awkward verbal communicator.

I stumble on word after word, oftentimes forgetting to pause or think about how much sense I’m really making.

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Before telling a story, I always make sure to arrange my thoughts coherently so as not to appear like I’m making it all up due to a number of errors that I will make while telling it.

I mix up terms, statements, and even facts — not because I’m lying but because, sometimes, a number of things that I’d like to say overwhelm me.

I am not a good verbal communicator. But know that this will not stop me from speaking up.

This weakness of mine that would many a time manifest in the words that I utter, will never halt my ideas from coming out of my mouth.

This would, instead, serve as a challenge for me to always find it in me to explain myself better in the attempts following my first one.

The fact that I have various concepts in my mind at one time are partly to blame for my lack of verbal eloquence.

I am not a good verbal communicator. But know that your patience and understanding will help.

There have been a lot of instances where I have hurt people that are dear to me due to the wrong words that I have expressed and, in all honesty, I haven’t really improved in this department.

But if you ever find yourself feeling distressed by my remarks, please think twice before acting out.

Wait for me to try and correct the mistakes that I am bound to commit. Wait for me to backtrack when I finally realize what I’ve said. Wait for me to explain my side and then listen.

Listen intently for what I really wanted to say because, chances are, what you thought I said is far from what I really wanted to voice out.

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I am not a good verbal communicator. So I ask that you become the better one.

From this declaration, know that I am fully aware of my frailty in this particular ability and I need you to make it easier for me by giving me the time I need to clarify myself.

With my ever-changing thoughts, I need you to be firm on your belief in me and not question my honesty. I need you to tell me that I don’t need to worry.

Because time and time again, I will find myself clumsily grasping for the right words to say and not being able to do so.

For this reason, I need you to listen closer to hear what I find hard to deliver.

When I stutter, I need you to wait for me to redeem myself. When I pause a little while longer than necessary, I need you to not cut me off because that would make it harder for me to think about what I wanted to say in the first place.

I don't need you to fill in my silence, what I need is for you to understand it.

I am not a good verbal communicator.

I will stumble upon word after word, oftentimes forgetting to pause and think about how much sense I’m really making.

When that happens, and honestly speaking, I’m sure that that would happen often, I need you to assure me that you’ll be there to listen in no matter what.

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Paola Angeline is a writer who focuses on family, relationships, and self-care. For more of her content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.