Why Your Partner Shouldn't Always Stand Up For You

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man and woman staring at each other fighting upset
Partner
Love

By Sarah Dowell

Having a partner can be a beautiful thing.

It’s nice to know that you have someone someone who’s willing to stand by you and be there for you. You can live in romantic bliss and enjoy each other’s company.

Sometimes the expectations we put on our partners are unreasonable, though.

A relationship is a two-way street, so should your partner always stand up for you?

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Now, I’m not saying that your partner should hang you out to dry.

I’m not saying that they should throw you under the bus. I’m not even saying that they shouldn’t stand by your side.

There’s a difference, though, between your partner standing by you and them standing up for you.

Your partner should always stand by you, but they don’t always need to stand up for you, especially when you’re in the wrong.

If someone is viciously attacking you for something that you’ve done, then yes, your partner should stand up for you. However, they don’t always need to tell people that you were right or that the situation was appropriate.

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Sometimes, when you’re wrong, it’s OK for your partner to call you out. It’s OK for your partner to agree with someone you disagree with.

Expecting your partner to always side with you is unfair because you aren’t always right.

Getting angry at your partner for not siding with you in your personal disagreements is unhealthy.

If you expect your partner to say that you were right when you clearly weren’t, you’re placing unrealistic expectations on them, which can really hurt your relationship.

It’s natural to disagree with your partner. It’s normal for your significant other to have their own beliefs.

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If it’s clear that you’re wrong, wouldn’t you rather have your partner help you see the other side?

In a true partnership, your partner should be able to call you out, and life will still go on.

A good partner should help you grow. They shouldn’t gang up on you or bully you, but they should tell you when you’ve hurt or offended someone else.

Wouldn’t you rather have someone set you straight than keep making the same mistakes?

Your partner should always stand by you, but they should only stand up for you when you’re in the right.

So get used to your partner calling you out when you’re wrong, and never be afraid to be with someone who’s willing to keep you in check to help you grow.

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Sarah Dowell is a writer whose work has appeared on Unwritten, YourTango, and Thought Catalog. She's passionate writing about helping people love themselves and finding true happiness. Visit her author profile for more of her work.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.