To The Person Who Is Breaking The Cycle Of Abuse

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To The Person Who Is Breaking The Cycle Of Abuse

By Haley Stern

Dear cycle breaker,

This is a message for you. Yes, you. 

You — the beautiful, brave human being who is choosing to rise from the cycles of abuse that have harmed you for far too long

You — the one who refuses to succumb to the concept of “generational curses,” and who is instead deciding to break every barrier they told you was immovable. 

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There is a world outside of those walls. And you can get there and build a new life for yourself and those after you, brick by brick.

You — the girl who is learning to process on her own terms. The one who’s forgiving herself before she succumbs to the pressure to forgive the ones who hurt her. 

You are allowed to approach forgiveness on your own time and in a way that aligns with your healing, first and foremost. You don’t owe them anything.

You — the powerful young woman with a forlorn child within who still wonders if “family” is worth the sacrifice of safety. 

I understand that it is heartbreaking, cycle breaker, but please ride out the loneliness.

You will, one day, learn the true definition of family and you’ll see that you never should have had to ask this question in the first place. 

Cycle breaker, I have not been through what you have, but I want you to know that I see you. You are changing the story day by day in ways you can’t always see.

You break the cycle every time you say, "no," when saying "no" once meant risking it all.

You break the cycle every time you set a boundary with someone and when you choose to advocate for yourself, even when you don’t know how they will verbally or physically react.

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Know that you break the cycle every time you fall and choose to get up, even with tears in your eyes and bruised confidence.

You break the cycle every time you decide to try again and find your way forward, one shaky step at a time. 

Above all, you break the cycle every moment you stay alive, living a future you never thought you’d survive long enough to see. 

Beautiful girl, breaking the cycle is not just one big event.

There is no ribbon cutting, there is no trophy, there is no winning or losing, good or bad. It’s not a race, nor is it a marathon.

Breaking the cycle is about glimpses of freedom.

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It’s about moments of running barefoot in the rain and experiencing the vibrance of a life that was once clouded by trauma and abuse. It’s the feeling of truly living — and living for you. 

And the best part? No one else gets to decide what your life should look like. Not anymore. It’s your time to call the shots.

Cycle breaker, you probably haven’t heard it enough, so I am here to say that I am proud of you.

The work you are doing may feel insignificant, but I assure you, it is not.

Every step forward changes the trajectory in ways that will make both your past and future selves feel not only proud, but safe. 

You are worth more than you know. Keep going.

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Haley Stern is a writer who focuses on relationships, health and wellness, and self-care. For more of her self-care content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.