How To Deal With A Breakup That Happened During Quarantine
Quarantine is hard, but what about going through a breakup while in quarantine?
getty Going through a breakup is never fun and getting over it can be hard. But going through a breakup during quarantine is a whole new story.
It might be easy to just stay home and do nothing (since that’s what we need to do anyway). But without those outside distractions, dealing with a breakup is even more difficult as it's likely all you can think about.
But it's not all bad! This is the perfect time to get over a breakup without worrying about running into your ex while you're out on a shopping trip, right?
After the initial shock and all the ice cream you can eat before getting sick, think about moving on and forward.
Here are some tips to follow to deal with a breakup in quarantine.
1. Reach out to others
The most important thing to do after a breakup is to reach out. Whether its friends or family, knowing that you have a support system will help you come to terms with your breakup.
They might some helpful tips for you to get over the breakup. Being able to tell your side and clearing out everything you kept to those that understand you will help empty yourself of the toxic memories.
2. Cut off all contact with your ex
This includes all social media and deleting your text conversations. Maybe even delete the pictures of them you posted so that when you go back in your profile, you aren’t reminded of the past.
It might be tempting to see what they are doing and if they said anything about you since the breakup. But you need to focus on yourself and your future, not keeping up with past mistakes.
3. Focus on projects you currently are doing (or start new ones!)
Keep your mind distracted and focus on things that you were working on before the breakup. Getting back into a routine will get you to stop thinking of the breakup and get your mind onto more important things.
Think about starting a new project, one that gets you into a new routine. Starting fresh with a different mindset will get you to find different ways your skills can be acted on.
4. Start investing in a good self-care routine
It might be easy to just sit around, eat every sugary treat, and mope about your heartbreak. But you still need to take care of yourself.
Maybe after a week, get into a self-care routine that fits you. That means eating healthy foods, getting ready for bed at a reasonable time, finding an exercise routine you could do without using too much equipment, showering more than once a week, and adopting a face care routine.
This also includes giving yourself some time to relax mentally and not strain yourself. Set yourself some time to meditate and calm your mind before starting the day, or at the end to peacefully fall into a nice slumber.
5. Get into a new hobby
Watching reality TV every night is a nice break from your problems, but in the end, you gain nothing other than knowing more about total strangers than you do yourself. This is the perfect time to try your hand in some crafts!
Had a pair of knitting needles that have been sitting in your closet for who knows how long? Dust them off and find cute patterns, make sure it’s for beginners so you don’t discourage yourself from never picking it up again.
Maybe you had a vision for a painting but hadn’t had the time. Pick up that paintbrush and paint out your feelings. It might be more therapeutic than you expected.
6. Take time to evaluate yourself
Distracting yourself from the breakup is good, but distracting yourself from your emotions can cause you to feel worse than before. Take some time to really get to know yourself.
According to Dave Straker, who has an M.Sc. in Psychology, on a Quora forum, he advises there are three ways to evaluate yourself:
- Reflect. Identify your values, those rules for living that you consider important. Then honestly ask yourself if you live up to these.
- Observe. Watch how friends and family interact with you. Do they trust you? Do they go out of their way to help you? What response do you get when talking with strangers?
- Ask. Ask those who you trust for honest feedback. Listen openly and without responding to what they say. If nobody can do this, then this also tells you something.
7. Process your feelings
This could be seen as the next step in evaluating yourself. Write down how you feel in a journal or on your phone.
Start with how you feel about yourself and your ex each day after the breakup, then after two weeks update it at the end of the week. Do this for about two months, then stop.
After a month, look back and see how you feel. Are your feelings about yourself and your ex the same? How have you changed since the breakup?
8. Think about what you learned from the relationship and how that changes your future ones
After you evaluate and process your feelings, think about what came out of this relationship. Ask yourself these questions:
- Did you change as a person willingly or to appeal to your ex?
- Has this changed how you will approach dating again?
- Are you wanting to go through it again with someone new?
- What will you look for in another possible partner?
- Are you ready for another relationship or do you want to wait?
If you are able to answer the questions, this should prove that you have done well and took time for yourself. If you can’t answer these questions, that time for yourself needs to be a little longer.
9. Understand that healing will take time
You might want to get over this fast so you can move on, but getting over a breakup isn’t easy. Being alone might also drive you insane since quarantine doesn’t look like it’s going away soon.
But just keep in mind, it’s not about the destination, but about the journey. The most important person right now is you, so don’t let yourself down.
Isabell Tenorio is a YourTango editorial intern.