9 Obvious Signs That You're Dealing With A Narcissist

You've got a narcissist on your hands.

9 Obvious Signs That You're Dealing With A Narcissist Dries Augustyns via Unsplash

By Sara Ata

Dealing with a narcissist can be draining. When you have a narcissist in your life, you constantly argue and may have difficulty expressing your insecurities, concerns, and necessities.

Here are 9 signs that you have a narcissist in your life.

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1. They constantly criticize you.

When narcissists speak, they criticize you and try to dominate the conversation.

You may think that, even though they’re critical of others, that you’ll be safe. Think again — they will criticize you, too! 

2. They tear you down.

Narcissists have no qualms about tearing down your ego to build up theirs. Sometimes, they may even lie about events and fabricate stories to prove that they’re better than you.

They consciously project their negative traits onto you, but they hate it when you retaliate. 

3. They’ll do anything to get ahead. 

Narcissists lie and cheat, and they’ll step on anyone who stands in the way of what they want. Often, they only try to get ahead so they can prove a point to the people around them, which is why they never seem to care about anyone else’s feelings.


Narcissists are overly competitive, and they’re not used to losing. 

4. They don’t care. 

Narcissists don’t feel remorse, shame, or compassion for their agonizing verbal and emotional abuse. On the contrary, putting you in pain empowers them.

Therefore, narcissists typically continue the abuse cycle, because it fuels their feelings of self-satisfaction.

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5. They twist your secrets.

Narcissists use everything you say against you, even when you’re unaware of their motives. The secrets you think are safe with them could come back to bite you later, because they don’t ever intend to keep your secrets.


Narcissists love to scorn your most embarrassing stories, so don’t share them if someone you know acts this way. If you do, they’ll reveal your weaknesses, so that they can retain their sense of superiority.

6. They never respect you.

Every time you fight with a narcissist, you’ll find yourself explaining the basic definition of mutual respect and why they should respect you. They may cry that they don’t mean to hurt you and promise that this will be the last time, but they’ll never change, because they intend to disrespect you.

Narcissists simply know what to say to make you stay and go against your desires to provoke you.

7. They’ll try to control your actions.


When you know a narcissist, the traits that they once applauded you for, they will eventually mock you for. They’ll slowly shape you into the person who they want you to be, and soon, you’ll feel like they’re the puppet master of your life.

A narcissist may try to control how you dress or who you associate with, but if they do, get out!

8. They’ll mock your dreams and goals.

A narcissist will make fun of your future dreams and plans to discourage you from pursuing them, so that they can continue to control your life. They’re often scared that you’ll be more successful than they could ever be, so they’ll try to sway you away from your wildest dreams.


9. They’ll blame you for everything that goes wrong.

A narcissist will blame their failures and irresponsible behavior on you so that they don’t have to face the consequences of their actions. They’ll even blame you for small things, like missing their calls when they call you late, just to try to get in your head.

If you think that you know a narcissist, reach out to your support system. Lean on true friends and loved ones who can help you through your relationship.

And remember, that none of what the narcissist in your life says reflects poorly on you. You are not to blame, you are enough, and you will find caring friendships and relationships in the future.


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Sara Ata is a writer who focuses on relationships, love, and dating. For more of her relationship content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.