Photo: Eli DeFaria via Unsplash
Are you the toxic one in the relationship?
By Unwritten — Written on Mar 05, 2020
By Brittany Christopoulos
When it comes to relationships, it’s really easy for us to believe that we are innocent and can do no wrong. Truthfully, we never admit (or like admitting) our faults and flaws to anyone — especially our significant other.
However, there are some qualities that other people see in us that we don’t even realize aren’t so good.
Here are 18 signs that you may, in fact, be a bad girlfriend.
1. You’ve never even thought about paying for a date, let alone offering to pay.
It’s not the responsibility of solely one person to finance an entire relationship. Take some ownership and pay every once in a while or split it.
2. You get jealous when they are happy about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you.
They’re allowed to have a good day at work or be happy for their friend. And you should also be happy for them.
3. You start fights for no reason.
Sometimes, you may feel bored in a relationship so you purposely create drama and fights over pointless things just to make your relationship exciting. And then, you expect royal treatment after you make up. That’s childish and dumb.
4. You pick all the dates.
They might suggest something, but you turn it down simply because it’s not what you want. Similarly, you rarely compromise.
5. You get jealous when there’s another girl in the room, even if they aren’t a threat.
Just because he has friends who are girls does not give you the right to dictate who they see if it doesn’t sit well with you. They chose to be with you, but you cannot change their other friendships.
6. You don’t buy thoughtful gifts.
Not only do you not spend a lot of money on them, but you also buy poor gifts when you do. Moreover, your reasoning behind it is that you “don’t know what they’d like.” Clearly, you don’t listen when they talk or know their interests.
7. You talk about wanting to hook up with other people.
If being in a relationship doesn’t stop you from telling your friends how you wish you could bang the hot server, you’re a really bad girlfriend. You also openly admit that you wish you had your freedom.
8. You treat them less than you because you think you’re settling for them.
That’s no excuse to mistreat someone — ever.
9. You only complain about your partner to your friends.
It’s never anything positive. Just what you wish they did, or what they don’t do.
10. You expect the best treatment at all times.
You feel as if you deserve to be treated like a princess and have a problem when you’re not. Truth is, everyone should be treated with respect — but you shouldn’t demand to be treated like royalty, when in return you treat them like a servant.
11. You refuse to spend time with his parents, yet you want him to spend time with yours.
It’s a two-way street. This means that you should both make an effort to see each other’s family as much as possible.
12. You go through their phone constantly.
Whether he knows about it or it’s done in secrecy, violating his trust and property makes you a bad girlfriend.
13. You don’t do a lot in bed.
Whether it’s not pleasing them or demanding they do things they aren’t interested in, you barely do any work. Nine times out of ten, they’re on top while you just lay there. Newsflash: you’re probably making them feel unwanted.
14. You try to portray that you’re single on social media.
Is it in fear you’ll be unfollowed or stop people from sliding into your DMs? Either way, it’s wrong to not include them in your posts sometimes.
15. You expect them to do all the housework because you feel it’s their responsibility.
Everything in a relationship should be equal, much like the workload. You should never expect them to put more work than you in any aspect.
16. You cheated and haven’t been honest about it.
It may not have been physical. It could be anything from flirty DMs, dancing with a guy at a bar to get free drinks, to other suspicious things done behind their back. Nevertheless, it’s never okay and it definitely makes you a bad girlfriend.
17. You get mad when they hang out with their friends.
Even if they do it on a day you’re busy, being that territorial is wrong. Everybody needs to have their own friends, and you need to accept that their life doesn’t revolve around you.
18. You don’t trust your partner.
They might not have even given you a reason, but you always doubt their loyalty. If that’s the case, why date them?
If you’re guilty of at least 10 of these, you should consider changing your relationship or altering your behavior. Some of these are very problematic and make you a bad girlfriend in a serious, mature, and long-term relationship.
Demanding special treatment does not mean you have standards — it means you’re entitled, selfish, and unrealistic. Unless you start working on these issues, you can bet you’ll have a hard time finding a serious relationship once this one ends.
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Brittany Christopoulos is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love. For more of her dating content, visit her Twitter page.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.