10 Reasons You Should Never Feel Bad About Removing Toxic People From Your Life
Say goodbye to that negativity.
getty I’m a firm believer that it’s your life, your choice. No one has the right to tell us who we shouldn’t allow to be apart of our lives. But when it comes to toxic people, there's nothing wrong with removing them and their negativity from our space.
We have the freedom and responsibility of choosing who is worthy of our time. Our time is very valuable, so we must cherish it and choose wisely with whom we wish to share it.
The reality is, you can never go back in time. Once something is done, it's done, but you can always learn from your past. The past doesn't have to dictate your future.
The lessons of your past can bring many realizations. You might find your hidden passions, new aspirations, or even begin to question your relationships. Taking those moments to look back at your past, the good and bad, can help you to see how far you’ve come and fuel you to pursue the future you want.
But while pursuing that future, you might come to find that your significant other or friends have done more harm than good during your relationship with them. They are toxic people, and you want out.
In those moments, we don’t want to believe that the people we love and care for so deeply would hurt us, but sometimes they do. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but we don’t have to suffer through them.
You don’t need to put up with emotional, verbal, or physical abuse for the sake of history. You don’t deserve to be manipulated and taken advantage of — you deserve to be loved and respected!
Often times, we hold on to toxic people because, in the beginning, they weren’t toxic at all. They might have been the best friend or boyfriend you’ve ever had, so you hold on to hope. You hope they will change and treat you the way they once did, and that’s why you stay and take the abuse.
Someone who truly loves you won’t abuse or manipulate you. They would never put themselves in a position to lose or harm you.
That means your friend or significant other will be mindful of how they treat you and listen when you tell them how you want to be treated.
But a toxic friend or partner couldn't care less about how they treat you. They just want to please themselves.
Whether it’s a breakup or the end of a friendship, keep in mind that you must do what’s best for you. It hurts having to tell the person you love that they can no longer be a part of your future, but holding on to toxic relationships only harms you.
Don’t forget the reasons you are removing them from your life.
1. Their jealousy causes them to no longer support you.
Nothing kills more dreams than doubt. A good friend or partner will encourage you to pursue your dreams. They want to help you as much as they can, because they believe in you.
Plus, they want to see you challenge yourself. Regardless of whether or not you achieve the goal, they’ll still be there to support you.
2. They dismiss your feelings.
A toxic person will make you feel as if your feelings are invalid and that you’re overreacting. They refuse to see things from your point of view. A toxic friend or partner doesn’t care about how you feel, whereas a true friend or partner is always there to hear your views.
3. You are always to blame.
This toxic friend or partner doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. Whenever they do something wrong, it’s never their fault. They take on the victim role and vilify you.
A toxic person refuses to be accountable for their actions, without any regard for who they hurt in the process.
4. They aren’t transparent with you.
Toxic people lie or repeatedly withhold the truth from you. They want to keep you at a distance, so it’s easier to manipulate you.
They know that if they told you what they were doing, you would end the relationship. A toxic person hides things from you because they want to have their cake and eat it too.
5. They attack your self-esteem.
Toxic people aim to tear you down. They don’t want you to have self-confidence because when you have self-confidence, you no longer tolerate their abuse and you’ll know your worth.
An abusive friend or partner lives off the ability to manipulate you and make themselves seem superior by comparison.
6. They don’t invest in the relationship.
Relationships require both people to put in the effort. When you’re in a toxic relationship, your friend or partner expects you to pull all the weight. They never want to reciprocate.
Toxic people continue to take from a relationship, without putting anything back into it. They’re simply in it for their own benefit.
7. Everything revolves around them.
Toxic people are in the relationship for themselves. They don’t want to hear about your problems; they just want you to listen to their problems and help them solve it.
These negative people think that a relationship is all about them, and that the needs of the other person don't need to be met.
8. You're scared to make them angry.
You should never be afraid of getting hurt by your partner or friend if you say something they don’t agree with. You should be able to open up and express yourself without any fear.
Being scared to open up to them based on how they’ll react further proves you’re in a toxic relationship.
9. They're controlling.
Toxic people make you feel powerless in a relationship. It’s either their way or the highway. They want you to act a certain way, so they do so by controlling you and not allowing you to make your own decisions.
10. You don’t feel appreciated.
In this relationship, they hardly express how thankful they are to have you.
Toxic people never acknowledge all the sacrifices you made to keep them happy. It’s like they never see all the hard work you put into the relationship, but still expect you to do more!
Tamara Sanon is a writer who covers pop culture, astrology, Bible, and relationship topics.