4 Things I've Learned From Dating A Guy Who Is Actually Good For Me

Is he good for you to date?

I Dated A Guy Who Was Good For Me And Learned 4 Things Tyler Casey via Unsplash

By Paige Haeffele

I grew up dreaming of having the perfect partner, the romantic significant others I had seen in movies, read about in books, and fantasized about on TV. I’ve had an imaginative, idealistic mind since childhood, but I only recently realized how much it’s impacted my dating life. 

I can count on one hand the amount of guys I have dated that have actually been good for me. But being in a healthy, loving relationship now has exceeded all of the fantasies I dreamt up when I was young. 


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Being with my current partner has taught me so much about myself, love, partnership, and myself.

1. My partner has taught me that I can’t expect anyone to be perfect.

A healthy relationship doesn’t equate to a perfect relationship. I’m fully aware that I’m not perfect, so how could I ever expect someone else to be flawless?


Expecting perfection in a relationship is unfair and unrealistic. My partner accepts that I’m not perfect, and I do the same for him. Even when my Aries nature makes me say rash things without thinking how my partner may interpret them, he explains why my words hurt and inspires me to work on my quick tongue.

In turn, I accept everything about my partner, from his insecurities to his flaws. Together, we’re working on being better partners.

2. My partner understands me better than anyone.

I always felt like no one really “got me” and have assumed that I’d always feel disconnected from everyone around me. However, when I met my current partner, he understood me from the beginning, and it was almost magnetic.

I never have to explain how I feel or what I’m thinking; we just try to understand each other. My partner can sometimes tell how I’m feeling just from the looks I give.


Though that makes it impossible for me to hide anything from him (Not that I’d want to, of course!), I’m so grateful that I can be myself and still be understood. 

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3. My partner and I both want to see each other grow.

My partner and I both have trauma, but we’ve committed to helping each other move past our dark moments. My boyfriend also helps me work towards my goals and dreams, and I do the same for him.

I’ve truly invested myself in everything that my boyfriend wants to accomplish in life. I love seeing my partner become the best version of himself. My significant other makes me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.


4. I’m secure with my partner.

In the past, I’ve spent a lot of time questioning my relationships and trying to “water myself down” to please people. But now, with my boyfriend, I don’t feel like I need to bend over backwards.

He brings out the best in me and helps me feel more secure in myself, especially when I’m around others. Loving my partner is great, but it’s even more amazing to know that he loves me back. 

I’ve spent a lot of time with people who weren’t meant for me, but I’ve finally found someone who is good for me.


If you’re looking for a healthy relationship, you’ll find it when your partner cares for you like mine cares for me. I know you’re impatiently waiting for a healthy, but I promise you, real love is coming.

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Paige Haeffele is a writer who focuses on love, women, life, and relationships.