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Roxane Gay Is Engaged! Meet Her Fiancé Debbie Millman

Photo: Instagram
Who Is Roxane Gay's Fiancé? New Details On The Writer Getting Engaged To 'Design Matters' Host Debbie Millman

If you didn't know author Roxane Gay was in a relationship, don't feel bad. The New York Times columnist and bestselling author keeps that part of her life off the page for the most part. But that just makes the recent announcement that she and girlfriend Debbie Millman are engaged that much more delightful.

Earlier this week, the Hunger author tweeted out "Ahhh! Yes, I am indeed engaged to @debbiemillman! It is very exciting! Thank you ALL for the kind words and congratulations." earlier this week and her Twitter followers went crazy for the happy news. 

Who is Roxane Gay's fiancé? Read on for all the details.

1. Who is Roxane Gay?

Roxane Gay is a bestselling author known for her memoirs Bad Feminist and Hunger: The Story of a Body. She also wrote The World of Wakanda for Marvel and she's a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times. Her work has also appeared in Best American Mystery Stories 2014, Best American Short Stories 2012, Best Sex Writing 2012, A Public Space, and McSweeney’s, among others. 

Gay writes a lot about love and relationships but she keeps her personal life personal. She told The Advocate: "It's challenging to write about love and maintain some semblance of privacy, which is why I actually don't write about my relationships. It's just too much to put stuff out in the world. I make deliberate choices, but I don't want to expose the best parts of my life and the most private parts of my life..."

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3. Who is Debbie Millman?

Debbie Millman is the host of the podcast Design Matters. The podcast, which her website calls "one of the world’s first and longest-running podcasts" is an ongoing discussion about design and creativity. She has hosted guests including Tim Ferriss, Malcolm Gladwell, Marina Abramovic, Steven Pinker, Shepard Fairey, Laurie Anderson, Barbara Kruger, Amanda Palmer, Alain de Botton, Brene Brown and Hamilton Director Thomas Kail. In addition, she created the world's first graduate studies program in branding for the School of Visual Arts in New York. She has written six books and her philanthropic work includes partnering with Law & Order SVU actress and activist Mariska Hargitay’s Joyful Heart Foundation to eradicate sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse and the rape-kit backlog.

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4. How did they meet?

At an event last spring, the couple talked about how they got together. Debbie had been frustrated about the difficulty in finding love so her friends suggested that she use her podcast as a way to meet people. She set her sights on meeting Roxane and spent months trying to set up an interview. She even started inviting friends of Roxane onto the show to sweeten the deal. Once they finally, met, Debbie asked her crush out. Roxane recalls that they went out and "we talked and I spilled wine on her because I’m so cool and then we went outside and she asked if she could kiss me and then she did.”

“I’m the luckiest woman alive,” is all Debbie said of their relationship. “It was the first time in my life that I aggressively went after someone.”

“And it was the first time in my life that anyone aggressively pursued me,” Gay replied. 

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5. Is this the cutest engagement announcement ever?

Roxane hinted that she was marriage-minded when it came to Debbie. In an interview with The Advocate, she said that she wasn't engaged but she was certainly open to it. "Someday. Yeah, definitely," she said.

Someday came recently and she got on Twitter to tell her fans that she and Debbie were making it forever. But that was nothing compared to how cute Debbie's announcement was. In an Instagram carousel post, she shared a bunch of photos of the two of them together with the poem "I met a girl who loves to write and is really into Beyoncé,” Millman writes. “We went on some dates; we fell in love. And now she is my fiancé.” The photo array ended with a shot of their hands wearing identical diamond rings. 


A post shared by Debbie Millman (@debbiemillman) on Nov 13, 2019 at 2:18pm PST

This is the best engagement announcement ever. 

5. Fan reactions to the news

Literally thousands of people replied to Roxane's tweet sharing the news. And it wasn't just Twitter fans of the writer's work who were sending good wishes. Senator Elizabeth Warren tweeted "Congratulations @rgay and @debbiemillman — sending you both my love!" Little Fires Everywhere author Celest Ng wrote "Aaahhhhh! Congratulations to both of you!!" And even People's Sexiest Man Alive John Legend dropped in to say "Congratulations!"

Thousands of followers responded to the tweet.

6. When's the wedding?

The happy couple hasn't shared any details about when the wedding will be or what kinds of plans they have for their nuptials. We just hope Debbie's vows rhyme, just like her engagement announcement. 

Rebekah Kuschmider has been writing about celebrities, pop culture, entertainment, and politics since 2010. Her work has been seen at Ravishly, Babble, Scary Mommy, The Mid, Redbook online, and The Broad Side. She is the creator of the blog Stay at Home Pundit and she is a cohost of the weekly podcast The More Perfect Union.