12 Things You Should Know Before Falling For An Introvert

Photo: Allef Vinicius via Unsplash
Dating Advice For How To Have A Relationship With An Introvert

By Mitzi J. Hernandez

Introverts: we’re the so-called misanthropes, loners, or lone wolves of society. However, truthfully, we’re not antisocial or weird.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean that we are particularly shy or unapproachable, though we can certainly come across that way.

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If you have feelings for an introvert, here are 12 things you should know before falling for them.

1. Being an introvert means we are not very social.

We will avoid being in crowded places and some weekends we won’t want to go out at all. But we’re not unreasonable — just because we don’t want to go out doesn’t mean that we will hold you back if you want to. Just don’t try to force us when we don’t want to.

2. We’d rather communicate over text.

Please don’t call us. Avoid this unless you have a good reason for doing so.

Likewise, make sure to give us a heads up so we don’t send you straight to voicemail. And when you do text us, please skip the small talk texts — we hate them. Small talk in person is bad enough.

3. We want meaningful conversations.

We prefer deep, one-on-one conversations because it’s how we form lasting bonds with others. Again, small talk feels like a punishment to us. We crave depth and conversations that make us truly think.

4. We suck at keeping constant communication.

If you need constant validation or attention every minute of your day, then an introvert might not be your ideal partner. We could take a few hours or a whole day to reply back to your texts or phone calls. We aren’t ignoring you, we just don’t need constant conversation.

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5. We have to get to know you on a deeply personal level.

What are your fears? Passions? Deepest secrets? How did you get that scar? Where do you see yourself in ten years?

These are the questions we like to ask. We want to get to the nitty-gritty of who you are and know everything about you.

6. We need a lot of alone time.

We really don’t mean to hide away from the world, but we just require time alone to decompress and boost our energy levels.

So, if we pull away for a few days, don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you and we just need to take all our attention inward. Please, just be patient.

7. We don’t open up very easily.

We often keep our feelings inside, because sharing them makes us feel too vulnerable. Thus, you have to be patient with an introvert and just offer your love and support. We will open up eventually, as long as you make us feel safe.

8. We prefer one-on-one quality time.

We prefer quality one-on-one time over hanging out with you in a group. Hence, we really cherish the time you spend with us without any distractions.

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9. We live in a fantasy world.

As introverts, we live inside our heads. That’s our escape from the mundane everyday life. Our escape could be playing a sport, writing, reading, or listening to music. We often get lost in our own thoughts.

10. We like to take our time.

We put a lot of thought into everything we do. Also, we prefer to take things slowly to understand and get comfortable with the person.

But, once we get comfortable with our feelings, there is no going back. We will become the most romantic person you’ll ever meet. Just give us time to get there. 

11. We want to make you happy.

We know we are different and don’t expect you to be just like us. But, we will do our best to make you happy. We may ask you too often if you feel good about the relationship, since your happiness is important to us. We want to know we are doing our part to meet your needs.

12. We love hard.

It takes us a while to commit to a relationship, but once we’re in, we’re all in. We have chosen you as one of the few people who see our inner self. We will love you very deeply.

Since we love being alone, we are extremely mindful of who we spend our time with. If you’re really someone special, we’ll want you as a big part of our world.

Dating an introvert can seem a bit overwhelming at times, because we approach life differently. However, it can provide a wonderfully rewarding relationship. Go into it with an open mind and patience — you’ll be very glad you stuck it out.

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Mitzi J. Hernandez is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love. For more of her relationship content, visit her Twitter page.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.