Jacob Wohl Accuses Elizabeth Warren Of Having Affair With 24-Year-Old Marine
Sigh. How annoying.
Instagram Regardless of your political persuasion, you can probably agree with the assessment that Jacob Wohl is, in a nutshell, annoying. Never has so much attention been paid to someone who has done so much damage with so little talent.
But who is Jacob Wohl, and what does he do when he's not being an absolute troll?
You know things are bad when your own Wikipedia page identifies you as a "fraudster, conspiracy theorist, and Internet troll." Even the various Real Housewives get better descriptions than that, no matter how many tables they flip over or how many "prostitution how-wahs" they talk about.
And thanks to him, the "hipster coffee shop" is forever in the pop culture lexicon, albeit more than a bit derisively.
So let's look at what else we know about this fraudster, conspiracy theorist, and internet troll.
1. He started out as an investor...and of course, he screwed that up.
The Daily Beast reports that Jacob Wohl started his life with promise. He was the founder of Wohl Capital Investment Group (WCIG), NeX Capital Management (NeX), and Montgomery Assets, Inc. (MAI), and he founded these companies when he was just a teenager. That led the outlet to dub him an "investment superstar," or, if you prefer, a wunderkind. There were already rumors of his bad behavior percolating up from the investment world — for example, one of his "Wohl's Girls," a modeling agency designed to attract people to work with his investment group, claimed that he posted her photos without her permission — but nothing was really done about it all until 2016, when the National Futures Association launched an investigation into Wohl after receiving an investor complaint. Long story extremely short: he got banned for life from the NFA after it was revealed that he diverted money into his mother's bank account.
2. Jacob Wohl previously tried to attack Robert Mueller.
GQ detailed a story in which Jacob Wohl hilariously, and ineffectively, tried to take down Robert Mueller, the attorney behind the Special Investigation into Donald Trump. "Wohl's spin on all of this, which is ambitious in the same way that the Donner party's attempts to cross the Sierra Nevadas in November were ambitious, is that at least one of the women who states that they were pressured to lie about Mueller does not exist — in other words, that would-be liars seem to have some credibility problems. Thus, he concludes, this story proves the existence of a vast media conspiracy to discredit Mueller's accusers, who, again, have yet to emerge. And it is definitely not just another layer of evidence of Jacob Wohl's humiliating incompetence," reported the outlet.
3. In his most recent stunt, he tried to smear Elizabeth Warren.
The Cut has detailed all of Jacob Wohl's various failed smear stunts, and in the most recent one, he tried to smear Elizabeth Warren, one of the Democratic presidential candidates. "He purports to have evidence of a recent “long-term sexual relationship” (lasting several months?) between Elizabeth Warren and a 24-year-old bodybuilder Marine. Sure Jake!" reports the outlet, while adding that he and his "partner in crime," Jack Burkman, have toed the line dangerously into felony territory with their stunts. (Guantanamo Bay is nice this time of year, we hear...)
4. Fortunately, Elizabeth Warren shrugged off Jacob Wohl with a cougar joke.
Congratulations to Elizabeth Warren for being so powerful that Jacob Wohl felt it necessary to write erotica about her. She took to Twitter to subtlely shade the claims by saying "Go Cougars!" — in part to pay tribute to her alma mater, and in part to snark about what a "cougar" she is, as well. YAS QUEEN!
5. Jacob Wohl and the "Hipster Coffee Shop"
Aside from being a bad name for a bad Dave Matthews Band tribute outfit, Jacob Wohl brought the term "Hipster Coffee Shop" into the pop culture lexicon. Eater reports that he did so under the presumption that he's always inside trendy shops where millennials, presumably, do nothing but talk about politics all day, and not about normal millennial things like avocado toast. But, not long ago, Jacob Wohl said that The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf was a "hipster coffee shop," and that drew much fire from the multi-national conglomerate.
6. He's got an outstanding warrant for a felony.
Because, of course he does. "California authorities issued an arrest warrant for blundering conservative operative Jacob Wohl, who is now due to be arraigned on a felony charge next month, court records show. As The Daily Beast first reported earlier on Wednesday, Wohl and a former business partner were both wanted on a warrant signed in Riverside County on Aug. 19," reported The Daily Beast, who added that he's wanted for the illegal sale of securities.
Sounds like a real winner, that Jacob Wohl! Go get him, ladies — he's single!
Bernadette Giacomazzo is an editor, writer, and photographer whose work has appeared in People, Teen Vogue, Us Weekly, The Source, XXL, HipHopDX, The Los Angeles Times, The New York Post, and more. She is also the author of The Uprising series. For more information about Bernadette Giacomazzo, click here.