You Should Congratulate Your Single Friends Instead Of Feeling Bad For Them

Photo: Cort Prather via Unsplash
Relationship Advice For How To Help Single Friends Get Over A Breakup And Move On

By Sarah Dowell

A break-up is difficult for anyone.

And no one feels like they should congratulate on that.

Obviously, the relationship ended.

But, also your friendships may become tenser and other relationships you’ve built with the person’s friends and family may suffer.

It’s hard to push through. It’s hard to accept that a relationship is over.

Your friends who are going through break-ups might not want to hear anything that sounds happy.

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It’s hard to watch someone you care about suffer.

It’s natural to want to tell them you’re sorry for their loss.

That you’re sorry that things didn’t go as planned and that you’re sorry things aren’t the way they should be.

It’s easy to say how sorry you are when you see an upset friend.

However, let’s put a positive spin on this!

Their relationship is over. It ended for a reason and in most circumstances, a relationship doesn’t end without a good reason.

Try telling them, “Congratulations!”

They ended something that wasn’t right for them.

They’re single now, which means they can get out and mingle. Or even take time for themselves.

If they broke up, the relationship wasn’t meant to be.

It wasn’t something that was good for them and it isn’t something that they should remain focused on.

It may seem odd when you first start, but eventually, it’ll begin to make sense.

Maybe the relationship was toxic or maybe it began as something beautiful and turned toxic later on.

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Or maybe they cared about each other, but they just weren’t a match. 

Unless you were in the heart of the relationship, you don’t know everything there is to it.

What you do know, is that your friend is single. 

Allow them some time to mourn their loss.

But, gently let them know that it isn’t the end of the world.

It might sound harsh, but they deserve to know that they are not their relationship.

They are not who they’re with. They’re their own person and that person is beautiful.

Losing a relationship may be hard to process, but in the end, again, it wasn’t right.

If they broke up, the relationship wasn’t meeting the criteria it should have been meeting and it wasn’t where it should have been.

You know what? That’s okay.

It’s okay to let go of something that wasn’t right.

Congratulate them on acknowledging that, congratulate them on cutting ties that were weighing them down, congratulate your friend on this.

If they weren’t the one to cut the ties?

Congratulations, someone decided to let go of something they were unhappy with. 

If your friend’s romantic partner was unhappy, but didn’t end the relationship, your friend would have suffered even worse than they are now post-break-up.

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In the end, both of the people came out of the relationship alive and will eventually be well.

Without the relationship, your friend now has a chance to meet the right person.

They can have the time to rebuild themselves.

Maybe the relationship was codependent and they started changing to appease their partner.

That’s something that happens sometimes. Frequently.

It’s something that people don’t expect, but it’s something they need to understand.

If they’ve changed, they can revisit. They can find themselves as well as find the right partner. 

Stop saying, “I’m sorry” when your friend ends a relationship.

Instead, let them know that they deserve a pat on the back for making it through.

They deserve to know how great they did, how well everything turned out, and how amazing and strong they are for getting through it.

So, congratulations to your newly single friend.

Help them get out there and shine their light.

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Sarah Dowell is a writer who focuses on friendship, break-ups, and relationships. For more of her friendship content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.