Photo: Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
Triple text if you want to, but know they’re not responding, babe.
By Madison Kerth — Written on Jul 20, 2019
Being alive in the height of the digital age has brought us so much convenience and excitement when it comes to dating. Instead of waiting by the landline in the hopes that you’ll get a call to meet up at the movies, we can text, Snapchat, DM, and go totally goo-goo over their latest posts.
Everything is so instantaneous, which opens so many doors to speeding the romance along.
One of the best things about a summer fling is the timing. Everyone is happier and healthier in the summer. We are genuinely thriving and living our best lives. Grabbing a certain someone by the hand and jumping blindly into an adventure is one of the most freeing feelings we can every experience.
You don’t feel too much stress for a commitment because you know there is just something in the air during this season. Everyone is having fun, and not worrying about what will come when Fall breezes by.
But there are two sides to every coin. Because we fall hard and fast, it can hurt even harder when the expiration date on the summer fling comes around.
One day, you can be cuddling in the park, looking at the stars and talking about how lucky you are to just be together. Wake up the next day, and everything can change.
The same rules apply for the pleasures of digital communication. You have access to everything they think, say, and post at your fingertips. So, you get used to the idea of constantly talking. But one day, they just might decide that enough is enough.
We’ve all experienced that gut-wrenching feeling of being left on read. No one loves it. In fact, everyone hates it, especially when it comes from the person you want to talk to most. So, how can you tell the difference between someone trying to drop the relationship and someone who is just too busy to be signed in to all of their socials 24/7?
Okay, we’ve established that your guy isn't responding to your texts and calls. But this could be for a number of reasons. To ease your mind in the meantime, ask yourself these questions:
1. Did they tell you they were going into work? Or a movie?
Before you put your detective cap on, take a step back and reassess the situation. Rack your brain and try to remember what they said between all of the sunset kisses and flirty pillow talk.
Maybe you just forgot that they had plans with a friend to visit a new exhibit? Or maybe they mentioned they would pick up an extra shift this week?
Before you jump into the deep end, you may be able to squash this ghosting-or-not bug right in its tracks.
2. Are they posting Snapchat or Instagram stories?
Here is where it gets tricky. Sure, it’s possible that they just overlooked your messages. It happens to everyone. But if they are consistently active on their socials, there is a hot chance that you are just not the person they want to be talking to right now. I know it’s frustrating.
Things seemed like they were going so well, but people change. At this stage, I wouldn’t give up too much hope — it’s possible they just haven’t come up with the perfect flirty response yet. But tread cautiously.
3. Are they watching what you are posting?
This is another important social media clue. You may be feeling like you should post a cute selfie or a boomerang of your coffee at your favorite local spot. I’m here to tell you: go right off! But I know you’ll be sitting there refreshing the page to see if they have noticed you. If you are looking stunning, which I’m sure you are, and they don’t swipe up or slide into your DMs with a response, they may be losing interest. Never fear, you’ll catch the eye of a new fling soon enough.
4. Extra FBI Level Tip: Check their Snapchat score.
This is a tip I always share with my closest girlfriends. If you go onto your crush’s Snapchat profile, you can see if they are actively sending and receiving snaps. Make a mental note of the number. If it goes up in 15 minutes, you are more than likely being put on the back burner. If not, no stress, girl! He’s not even near his phone and you should expect a response soon.
5. When they finally do respond, what do they say?
After a couple of agonizing hours waiting to feel your phone buzz, they finally have come back to you in the digital world. Now it’s time to decode that text. Are they apologetic? Do they let you know what was going on? And most importantly, do they mention that they want to see you again. If the answer is yes, you are back in the game.
If not, time to do some soul searching and decide if the panic and anxiety of this entire process are really worth your time. Remember, you are here for you! Do what’s best for your summer!
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Madison Kerth is a writer who writes about love, relationships, self-care, spirituality and astrology.