5 Warning Signs You're In A Seriously Toxic Friendship

Breaking up with a friend is never easy but sometimes it's necessary.

By Tess Griman — Written on Oct 14, 2021

Photo: Alejandro J. de Parga / Shutterstock

Not all friendships are like fine wines that get better with age. Some friendships just aren't meant to be, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Friendships are made by choice, and you shouldn't feel obligated to stay friends with someone just because of the amount of time you have been friends. At some point, you need to evaluate the situation and determine whether or not they are doing you more bad than good.

Don't be afraid to admit the truth to yourself about why it just isn't working out. Friendships are like a relationship, and they only work if your heart is really in it.

Real friends are the people you want to see during the good times and the bad. Don't let one bad, toxic friend redefine what friendship means to you.

Here are 5 warning signs of a toxic friendship so you can decide if it's time to break up and let things go their separate ways.

1. She is way harsh on judgment.

Society does a really good job of making you hate parts of yourself already and you don't need to surround yourself with people that will do that as well. Friends are supposed to encourage and support you, never put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

If she's also the kind of friend that talks smack about other friends behind their backs, then there is a good chance she's talking smack about you too.

2. She lies like a Persian rug on a rich man's floor.

Everyone tells a little lie now and then. It was on sale. It wasn't that expensive. I'm on my way. I'll be ready in 10 minutes. Make sure you are drawing a line between these kinds of lies and the ones that can do real harm.

Lying can cause serious drama and heartbreak in a friendship. Liars never need to know the truth and you should always expect that from someone you trust.

3. Your "friend" stabs you in the back.

You might as well call her Brutus. A good friendship is founded on loyalty and trust. Trust is not a weakness that should be exploited or taken advantage of.

Betrayal comes in many forms. She could have betrayed your trust by telling your secrets to other friends or broke the girl code and is now dating your ex. Either way, don't continue to allow her to be a part of your life.

4. It's a one-sided relationship, and her side is the only one that matters.

You go over to her place for rom-coms and pizza. When you start telling her about something you're dealing with at the moment, she interjects and starts telling you about a similar problem she's facing. How could she know what you said if she is focusing so much on herself?

Friendships should be two-sided. It's not all about her all the time. Listening to you gripe occasionally about work, your boyfriend, or life, in general, is one way she shows she cares. If she doesn't at least pretend to be interested in what you have to say then she's not being there for you like a real friend should.

Friends are not therapists. You shouldn't feel like you have to solve her problems all the time or give her professional-grade advice.

5. She has become your momager.

She feels like it's her responsibility to give you advice about everything in your life. So much so that she has entered into mom territory.