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Time to get erotic.
By Dori Hartley — Written on Feb 26, 2019
I don't suppose we all agree on what is or isn't erotic, and I would never assume to know how another feels about how sex and sexiness should be played out in the world of entertainment. but I will say this as a preface: if a film contains women being raped, demeaned, and subjugated — that's where the erotica stops for me.
I don't care if you're Stanley Kubrick and you've filmed a rape scene so vile and malicious that it goes down in history as an erotic art masterpiece. it's still abuse and misogyny to me.
So, this list will be dedicated to the erotic findings and sexy shows on Netflix, though it is not necessarily a guide for T&A sightings. If you want to watch moronic women humiliate themselves, please check out Instagram; that's where all the 50-year-old teenage boys are going these days for their desperately-needed masturbatory rape fantasy material. Instagram is basically ground zero for misogynists.
Having said that, I wonder if suddenly the selection of worthy titles will diminish. iis there anything that is considered erotic in entertainment that hasn't demeaned women? Are there erotic shows out there that don't revolve around the humiliation and eternal downgrading of women, for the sake of pleasing men?
Thankfully, there are. Thankfully, men are not the only reason women get naked. And thankfully, men get naked too. And that makes me sad that there aren't many Jason Momoa films on Netflix.
So, who's naked on Netflix? Or rather, what shows are erotically charged and worth watching? Here's a list of sexy Netflix movies and sexy Netflix series you absolutely need to see.
1. American Horror Story: Hotel
What a lush masterpiece this series is, and if there is one season that could be considered almost totally erotic, it's Hotel, which has a line up of such gorgeous people, all slipping around naked, in blood (of course). Oh yeah, my idea of "erotic" usually contains gorgeous people drowning in blood.
At first I didn't think I could handle another minute of Lady Gaga's beautiful butt... until I realized I definitely could.
2. Orange is the New Black (season one)
Outside of the fact that I look almost identical to one of its main characters (Laura Prepon), I'd say if you're looking for a very different take on eroticism, then have a go at this particular season. While it's not solely lesbian-oriented, it sure does paint a pretty picture of what it's like to be female, gay, in prison and... hot.
3. Jessica Jones
Good Lord that is some good erotic fun, and it's not even slightly an erotic show! This is a superhero-bang-bang cop show that also happens to star sassiness herself, Kristyn Ritter, an amazingly gorgeous woman who has a hot fling with amazingly gorgeous Luke Cage (Mike Colter).
Who knew that being a ne'er-do-well, alcoholic loser could make a person so sexy? Jessica Jones is that loser!
4. Nymphomaniac: Volume One
It's Danish and it has Stellan Skarsgard in it. And that, alone, is good enough for me.
When it comes to Swedish and Danish men, count me in. I think you may even get a breast here or there, so your standard erotic needs can still be fulfilled. Hey, with a name like Nymphomaniac, you know there's something erotic in it.
5. Polar
Speaking of Danish men: Mads Mikkelsen. What is it about this man that is almost criminally sexy?
No, this isn't an erotic film by any means; in fact, it's a bloody, senseless, crime film, with Mads Mikkelsen in it, which instantly separates it from the pack. Eroticism is where you find it, and I, like many, many women, really find it packed hard like polar ice in this actor.
6. The L Word
Just a bunch of lesbians sitting around talking. Or not. The L Word is an old show; it's no longer as popular as it once was, which is why it should make a comeback today.
What's commendable about this series is that it shows that lesbian life exists... without men. This is one of the first shows that makes a point of letting the world know that women don't make love to other women to turn men on.
So, if you are a man and you watch this hoping to see hot chicks licking other chicks, well, you'll get that, but you won't be invited in. Sorry, Chuck.
7. Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Goofy and clever, plus lots of sweet cleavage for the breast lovers. Hey, it says the word "porno" in it, AND it has Seth Rogan in it, so you know that whatever is "erotic" about this is a plain out joke. I kind of appreciate that joke.
8. Gypsy
Love it. Hot mental cases in love — all women, all as intense as you could handle it. I love a good erotic thriller, and this one is as good as anything Brian DePalma could come up with without the misogynistic tendencies.
Weird actress of the century: Naomi Watts. The girl will do it all! Love her.
9. Altered Carbon
Back to Swedish men. What is it about them? Are they all 7 feet tall? Good god my fetish for tall men really gets satisfied with this show, though I'd say the show itself is confusing and somewhat lost in aesthetic.
What to look for: Joel Kinnaman is an extremely gorgeous person, naked in almost every scene. Thank you, Sweden.
10. Vikings
Yeah, hello Nordic fetish. Vikings. We love 'em. And even though these dudes were probably pillaging the living crap out of all the nearby towns, one cannot help but gawk at those fine male bodies covered in chainmail, tattoos and armor. I claim my pig rights here, so bring on the Viking showboys!
11. Ex Machina
OK, maybe you have to be me to find this movie erotic, but I have a particular interest in sexbots. Those Japanese full-size sex dolls intrigue me! I want one to sit on my couch and just freak me out all day long.
And though our main protagonist is not a sexbot, per se, she is a fine looking bit of AI. And not only that, but she's played by Alicia Vikander, who spins everything she touches into gold. (See The Danish Girl.)
12. Hemlock Grove
Love-hate is what I have for this series. Where it tries to be erotic, it fails. Where it tries to be anything BUT erotic, it ends up very sexy. And the sexy falls on our lead monster, who is probably one of the most beautiful and weird men alive today: the mysterious Bill Skarsgard.
Skarsgard doesn't have to do anything to bring the world to his feet; it's all in his eyes. His eyes are the gateway to your best erotic nightmares.
13. The Fall
Jamie Dornan. I am in. Gillian Anderson. I am in. OK, trouble times are all around us. It's London, Gillian's working her natural brit accent, and Dornan is a sicko killer.
He's a real bad boy, but damn, he looks so good you could almost forgive him... but you won't. This series is dark, sexy and, like good sex, will only leave you starved for more.
14. Under the Skin
Scarlett Johansson is the alien we all want as our best friend... with benefits. Actually, you probably don't want her character as a best friend as she's all about emptying your body out to make room for her own self, while seducing and killing men.
But the benefits? The truth is, SJ is a great actress who is gorgeous and can take on an erotically charged character to perfection.
15. The Assassination of Gianni Versace
Had I not recently fallen in love with American Horror Story: Apocalypse's Cody Fern, I would not have thought to investigate his entire body of work, which isn't much considering he's, like, 19 years old. Well, he isn't, but damn he is fine.
Anyway, this series was surprisingly amazing. Never underestimate the talents of Darren Criss, whose portrayal of Versace's murderer, Andrew Cunanan, is perfection itself. And then there's Ricky Martin, who has aged into nothing less than a statuesque example of grace and masculine beauty. Erotic!
Dori Hartley is primarily a portrait artist. As an essayist and a journalist, she can be read in The Huffington Post, ParentDish, YourTango, The Daily Beast, Psychology Today, More Magazine, XOJane, MyDaily and The Stir. Her art books ‘Beauty’, ‘Antler Velvet’, and 'Mads Mikkelsen: Portraits of the Actor' are all available on Amazon.
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