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What is he really looking for in a relationship?
By Emily Ratay — Written on Jan 03, 2019
What you want and what you need in a relationship can be two very different things.
Personality plays a role in your wants and needs, and some of these longings were imprinted in your heart when you were born, and found in your zodiac sign, according to astrology.
You might want someone who makes dating feel easy and non-stressful, but what you really need is someone who has the same values and mindset as you.
These things might not seem like they're related, but in reality, they can be. When you look for someone who is perfect for you, you often let what you want help you choose the partner.
Sure, you might want someone who makes you laugh, but if their idea of humor is different than yours, you probably won't be laughing as much as you want to. In the same way, just because you both like to laugh at the same things doesn't mean that you have the same ambitions in life.
Or worse yet, they don't care about achieving any goals, while you are always busting your butt to succeed. See? Letting your wants choose the right person for you isn't always the best idea. The same can also be said for letting your needs choose your female friends.
You know you need someone to always call you out on your BS and keep you honest, but do you really want someone who is destined to always make you feel like you're in the wrong? You should want someone you can share good times with, too!
Finding the perfect partner is based on a healthy mixture of what you want and what you need. But if you're not sure what you want OR need in a girlfriend, don't worry. We don't always know what's best for us until we experience a few bad eggs first.
You're allowed to feel a little lost when it comes to dating. As long as you are willing to grow from past relationships and use your past to make better things happen for you in the future, you have the ability to find the perfect person for yourself eventually.
Right now, you might be in the questioning phase. You think you know what you need in a relationship, but you really might just be thinking of something you want instead.
For example, you might think that you need someone who will sweep you off of your feet every day of the week, but what you really want is someone who can bring stability to your life and let you know that their love for you is unwavering.
These two things are not very different, but knowing the difference between both can help you be a little clearer when looking for that perfect person. If a certain zodiac sign has caught your eye, you might want to know about what he's looking for in a girlfriend so that you can see how compatible you might be together.
Here is what he thinks he wants vs. what he needs in a girlfriend, according to astrology.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Aries thinks he needs someone who he can fall head over heels in love with. When he first dates someone, he's so overcome by passionate emotions that he thinks he needs that throughout the relationship – like it's the first time seeing each other over and over.
In reality, his feelings for someone will grow and change over time, so he really needs a girlfriend who can change and grow with him. As for what he wants in a girlfriend, Aries likes the idea of being with someone who will keep him on his toes.
While he might want a lot of different things, the bottom line is that he wants a girlfriend who will excite him. Whether that's mentally or physically, Aries wants someone who can give him a reason to wake up in the morning, every morning.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus loves very deeply, and he isn't afraid to let his true emotions show when he's with someone he really likes. In fact, he would be the zodiac sign to literally yell out "I love my girlfriend!" because of how consuming his emotions are.
For that reason, he thinks he needs a girlfriend who is as intense as he is about her love for him, when he really just needs someone who isn't afraid to let the world know she's Taurus' girl.
What he wants is someone who will put in the effort to show him that she loves him unconditionally. Whether that's cooking dinner when he's stressed out or just talking about their days together, Taurus knows that even the little things make all the difference.
While he might be the more intense one when it comes to expressing feelings, just knowing that his girlfriend loves him is all he really wants.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini thinks he needs a girlfriend who will keep him on his toes; someone who can be just as intense and crazy in love as he is. To him, a relationship needs to be full of spontaneity and surprise to really get his motor revving.
Of course, there's always more to a relationship than the craziness that comes with the honeymoon phase, but he doesn't always stick around that long to experience it.
What Gemini really wants – more than someone who will keep him guessing – is a twin flame. In other words, he wants someone who can match his enthusiasm and energy for life.
He wants someone who can be a master communicator just like he is so that there doesn't have to be any guessing. With communication comes honesty, and Gemini likes knowing what's up at the beginning of a relationship, instead of wondering if this is right for him.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer thinks he needs to find The One. In fact, whenever he dates someone new, he does so wondering if they could be someone he can see himself being with for the rest of his life.
Being such an affectionate, loving person, Cancer thinks he needs someone that he can take care of. What he needs to watch out for, though, is someone who takes advantage of his love and caring nature.
What Cancer wants in a girlfriend is someone who makes love come easy. He already has an idea of what the "perfect" relationship looks like, but he wants someone who has similar plans for the future.
While he might have grand ideas for his future, what he really wants is someone who is loyal and will have his back, no matter what. When he knows he can count on someone, his dreams for the future come into focus.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Leo loves being in a fiery, passionate relationship – almost as much as he loves being adored by someone. When he looks for the perfect girlfriend, being with someone who can give him all of the affection and attention he needs is definitely at the top of his list.
What he thinks he needs is a girlfriend to be his personal cheerleader – someone to lift him up and be vocal about her interest in him. What he wants, though, is a little bit different. While it's nice to have someone who will say exactly what you want them to say, it's more important for Leo to have someone who will challenge him instead.
When he says he needs a cheerleader, he really just means he wants someone to have his back through thick or thin. He wants someone who will be is equal but also be someone who will challenge him to work hard.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo doesn't like to play games, so he dates with the thought that each new person could be the one he stays with forever. Because of this mindset, he thinks he needs someone he can call his hero – a girlfriend who can be everything for him, without any reservation.
In a perfect world, perfection would be easy to find in a girlfriend, but he doesn't exactly need a girlfriend who can check all the boxes off of his list. What Virgo is really looking for in a girlfriend is someone who can love him for who he is.
Sure, there are some things he absolutely must have in a girlfriend, but what he really wants is just some acceptance and understanding. When his girlfriend can bring out the best in him and keep up with him emotionally and intellectually, he's happiest.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Libra thinks that the perfect relationship is one where romance and passion never dies. When he thinks about what he needs, it usually revolves around being swept off his feet all the time – little surprises, tons of affection, and massive amounts of quality time.
To him, romance IS important, but he sometimes gets so caught up in that one aspect of dating that he doesn't think about what else he needs. What Libra really wants is just someone who loves him, period.
The ideal girlfriend is someone who doesn't make him question whether there's a connection or not – he just knows, and that's enough. What he wants is someone he can be happy and make memories with, and someone who truly values and appreciates the relationship.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio is another one of those zodiac signs that thinks he needs intense passion all the time to be happy in a relationship. He tends to be drawn most to the types of people who make him go a little crazy in love – the girls who make him a little obsessed because they're so intoxicating.
For that reason, he thinks he needs someone who wants the same animalistic relationship that he wants. What Scorpio wants underneath all of that physical passion, though, is acceptance.
Sometimes, he hides what he truly wants under a physical connection because that's easier than an emotional one. He really wants someone who he can trust; a person who makes him feel valued and cherished for who he is when he's himself.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius is an adventurous lover. Ask him what he needs, and he'll probably say a little bit of everything. In other words, he likes the idea of having his pick of whatever he fancies.
What he thinks he needs is someone who won't make him feel tied down or "trapped" in a monogamous relationship. Of course, he doesn't realize that this makes him sound a bit selfish or uninterested in having a girlfriend.
What he really wants in a girlfriend is someone who will make him want to stay in a relationship – and not try to find escape routes just in case things go wrong.
The right person is someone who gives him the freedom he needs to be himself without making him worry that he has to lose part of himself to stay in the relationship. Acceptance and independence are key – as is a whole lot of honest communication.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn is someone who dates to find someone he can be with for life. He thinks he needs a girlfriend who is just as driven and laser-focused on her goals as he is – almost to the point where he has to keep up with her.
He's another zodiac sign that gets uncomfortable when there isn't a lot of independence in the relationship, so he thinks he needs someone who sees freedom as a must. What Capricorn wants, though, is a girlfriend who inspires and motivates him.
If there's too much independence in a relationship, it can be easy to feel like there isn't much of a relationship at all. In reality, he wants someone who can be her own person but still ask him for help from time to time. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be needed in a relationship; Capricorn just has to be honest with what he really wants.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius likes to think of himself as the zodiac sign that doesn't play by the dating rulebook, when in fact, he wants the same things every other zodiac sign wants in a relationship.
When he thinks about the ideal girlfriend, he thinks he needs someone unique and different in how she thinks, feels, and expresses herself, but he also thinks he needs someone very similar to himself, too.
What Aquarius wants is a lot less confusing. He really just wants someone to have fun with. He might like being with a girl who is similar to him but not too similar that it feels like he's dating himself.
Independence is also key; Aquarius doesn't want to feel like his relationship is built on wanting to fix each other. A girlfriend who makes love and emotional expression feel easy is at the top of his list.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Relationships are all about fairytale romance for Pisces. When he thinks about what he needs in a girlfriend, he often goes to that daydream where everything is perfect and beautiful all the time.
Pisces likes to imagine what his perfect relationship would look like, rather than go out and live in IRL. Because of that, his standards might seem sky-high for the average person. What Pisces wants is a little more realistic that what he thinks he needs.
He wants a girlfriend who will understand him and what he wants out of life; someone who will encourage him to show off his soft, romantic side. Commitment can be scary for Pisces, but knowing that the right girlfriend is someone who makes being together feel easy and not at all daunting will make him feel like he really has exactly what he wants.
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Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.