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Every single person we meet is our teacher.
By Sylvia Salow — Written on Aug 13, 2018
There are 4 different types of romantic relationships that we might encounter. I write this list based on my own experience and what I’ve seen while working with my coaching clients, as well as what I’ve understood while connecting with my soul and discussing the topics of soul agreements and types of romantic love.
During our life, we don’t have to encounter all 4 types of romantic relationships if it isn’t necessary for our spiritual growth. Sometimes we may get stuck with them longer than it’s needed (usually with the passengers) or grieve a little too long for a sudden breakup with those who make our heart beat fast (a bridger).
Either way, every single person we meet is our teacher. Regardless whether we’re in a relationship with them or not.
I like to think of relationships as divine assignments that are here to teach us valuable lessons. Every person serves us as a mirror of our soul so we can see who we are. The more we turn our sight away from our reflection, the shiner the mirror sparkles to get our attention.
I genuinely believe that the quality of any relationship depends on us. We can make a relationship work and last if we choose to and, of course, if the willingness is mutual.
4 Types of Romantic Relationships
1. Bridgers
A bridger is one “who lives near the bridge.”
This kind of person is supposed to prepare us for crossing the river ahead, so we step into a new phase of our lives. These types of relationships are rather short and intensive.
From a soul’s perspective, such a person is meant to help us get from our current place to a new better place. Thus, they need to catch our attention enough so that we’re willing to make that step. The best way to grab our attention is to fall madly in love.
Once we put our feet on a bridge and make a few first couple of steps, they start to disappear from our lives. Often, they leave as quickly as they showed up. We feel confused and don’t understand why they’re gone. The reason is simple: they’ve fulfilled their short yet profound mission, and now they’re free to go.
Usually, after the bridger leaves our life, everything feels like a mess. Maybe we moved to a different country, changed a job, or decided to pursue new hobbies.
One thing is certain; they always bring a change.
Many of my clients met their spouses after a breakup with the bridger. Why? Because before meeting the bridger they weren’t in the right place to meet their now-partners. Something needed to change — mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically.
2. Passengers
A passenger is one of the most common types of romantic relationships. They can stay very long (even whole life) or just a couple of years. I call them passengers as they accompany us for longer periods of life.
A passenger is an outstanding teacher as they mirror us back what we need to heal more painfully than others.
Many of these relationships are marked with the fear-based love which means that we argue a lot as if we were from two different realities. They trigger our most painful spots almost like it’d bring them pleasure. And of course, as passengers in someone else’s life, we do just the same.
These kinds of relationships are far from relaxed. On the contrary, they are related to control, codependency, jealousy, envy, comparison, and all of their other good companions.
The importance of these relationships is essential as they help us to face our old hidden wounds and emotional traumas that we, now, have the opportunity to face and heal. With passengers, we play out our old dysfunctional family patterns so we can finally release them.
The longevity of this kind of relationship solely depends on our willingness to heal the issues which passengers bring up in us. And then we’re ready to move on and meet someone with whom we don’t need to experience the same dramas again.
Of course, this is easier for some people more than for others but there is no judgment as every single soul always teaches us — either through pain or joy.
3. Soul brothers (also known as soulmates)
Soulmates are people with who we connect at a much deeper level than with anyone else. They truly do touch our soul and the innermost parts of us.
With them, everything feels natural and relaxed. You feel tuned to the same frequency and understand each other without lengthy explanations. You rarely argue, and if you do, then you make up quickly.
They’re like your best friends, and best lovers combined all in one. Of course, they don’t need to be only your romantic partners. They can be your friends or family members, too.
When you meet them, you instantly feel the right-click, and the bond between you doesn’t deteriorate.
Soulmates are also your great teachers, but they often teach you through joy and by their own example. There is no need for painful lessons with them anymore.
4. Heart openers
This is the least common type of relationships. Not everyone needs to experience meeting their heart openers. You can open your heart chakra and change your life by yourself when you’re “teachable” by the universe.
If you aren’t, just like I wasn’t, then the universe sends you this “bomb”. A heart opener creates the biggest shock and transformation in your life because they crack your heart wide open within seconds of looking into their eyes.
You feel like you’re almost one — you share a similar life story, thoughts, emotions, dreams, plans, and just everything.
By meeting them, your heart chakra opens so much that you can feel unconditional love which is very very overwhelming. Yes, I really mean unconditional love. It’s not something reserved just for our creator, we too can feel it. Unlike our creator, I believe that most of us can’t feel it all the time because its intensity might strike you really hard. But for the fleeting moments (days or weeks) you can. It’s all about the capacity to anchor your spirit and higher frequencies in your life (and that can be trained).
It’s as if the unconditional love is locked and well-hidden in inmost place within your being — and the heart openers can get there effortlessly and instantly.
I met my heart opener in 2011, and it caused such big turmoil in my life that it led me to what I do today (before, I thought that I would become a business consultant, now I consult people’s souls).
If you meet your heart opener, then stay open to what you feel in your heart and try not to rationalize it too much. Learn to go with the flow because all the rules bend at this sacred space.
Sylvia Salow is an author, public speaker, and a life coach encouraging people to grow into their potential by moving past any fears and mind limitations so they can create life which they deeply desire. She is an author inspiring people to follow their inner call. You can join her FREE Monthly Challenges here. You can watch her TEDx talk on How to Find Your Life Purpose here.
This article was originally published at Sylvia Salow. Reprinted with permission from the author.