Love, Self

10 Unexpected Things That Happen When You Free Yourself From A Toxic Relationship

Photo: getty
Unexpected Things That Happen When You Free Yourself From A Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships present themselves in a number of different ways. Sometimes they're not so easy to notice, especially when you're knee-deep in one. While physical abuse is obvious, emotional abuse is also a major factor in toxic relationships that are much harder to identify. 

Leaving a toxic relationship is even harder than realizing you're in one, but once you do the work to extract yourself, it's so worth it.  Here's why:

RELATED: 9 Real Women Share How To Face Your Fears And LEAVE A Toxic Relationship

1. You rekindle your interests.

The passion and favorite pastimes you once had catch your interest again and you realize you were just doing so much better with them than with that toxic relationship which caused you to forget about what you loved doing. This will help you move on faster as it allows you to vent out your raging emotions through your own verve and predilections.

2. You reconnect with people who truly loved you.

Those people you’ve forgotten about and lost communication with when you were too focused on that toxic person are now more valuable to you. Your parents, siblings, friends—you run to them because you know they were just waiting for you. They’ve been there all along, ready to catch you. You swear you will never leave them for someone ever again.

3. You appreciate good things no matter how little they are.

A treat from a colleague. The singing bird by your window. The dinner you go home to prepared by your mom. A simple how’s your day message from your best friend. A smile from an acquaintance. You just experienced so much pain that you cherish good little things you encounter after emancipating yourself from the toxin. You become a person of gratitude.

4. The next person you’re going to love is most likely your forever person.

Since your standards got higher and the time before you decide to love again will be quite long, you will have prepared enough by the time you welcome someone again into your life. You promise yourself to make sure that you will never settle for the wrong person again. You will fastidiously scrutinize them before you commit with them. They should pass your rebuilt standards. They should be your forever person.

RELATED: This Is How It Feels To Finally Be With Your Forever Person

5. Health becomes your priority.

You realize that your toxic relationship affected your health as a whole. So as part of your self-care, you decide to gain back your mental, physical, and even spiritual health. The stress you acquired was just too inundating and so you will find yourself fighting for that wellness you were deprived of. You will go back to the gym. Eat healthier. Do some yoga. You will put yourself first. You will aim for comprehensive detoxification.

6. Independence becomes a source of pride.

If being single meant being lonely for you before, you now define it as independence. And you see independence as a sign of bravery, completeness, strength, and wisdom. You will revel in it because you no longer attach your happiness to someone. You will be proud of being self-sufficient because it takes a lot to master the art of independence. Goodbyes would no longer hurt.

7. You care so much for people who are hurting.

Because you know how it feels to be in pain, you sincerely reach out to those who are hurting. You become more sensitive and empathizing. You are not afraid to tell them your story so as to encourage them and give them hope. You show love to people deprived of love.

8. You become more productive in your career.

You realize it’s your career that can love you back as much as you love it. It can give you an empire if you work hard and make it your priority. It can give you the life everyone else needs and wants. The good life that you could never achieve if you hadn’t freed yourself from that toxic relationship. You now choose your dreams over any romantic potentials that can’t actually feed you and give you home.

9. Your pain tolerance increases.

After all you’ve been through, pain no longer stings that bad the way it used to. Whatever kind of pain you feel, you will just tell yourself, this is nothing compared to my past. You’ve just strengthened your emotional muscles. You’ve just survived a traumatic experience. Hence your tears will no longer gush out for shallow sentiments. And pain cannot scare you anymore.

10. You reinvent yourself.

You try out new things—you cut your hair, change your taste from plain to plaid, add extra inches to those stilettos, travel more often, learn foreign languages, cook complicated dishes, dare yourself on risky adventures, or some other ways that can help you internalize you are a newly healed person. Change is the best product of healing. And part of that change is a better life ahead, because you didn’t give up and lose yourself. 

RELATED: 7 Important Reminders For People Letting Go Of A Toxic Relationship

Karla Crisostomo: English teacher. Grammar Enthusiast. Aspiring Author. Cat Cuddler. INFP. Brewed Blood. Passion-Over-Practicality Advocate. Check her out on Instagram and Tumblr.

This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.