To The Girl Whose Heart Is Fighting For The Wrong Relationship

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To The Girl Whose Heart Is Fighting For The Wrong Relationship

Love, especially young love, is all too difficult. Up to this point in our lives, we’ve been fed the notion that we have to have a partner to get through life. That love is tough and it takes tons of work to make a relationship last. But working on your relationship and making excuses to forgive his crappy behavior are two very different things.

Trust me when I say that hanging onto an abusive relationship is not worth it. The cheating, yelling, cursing, and demeaning behavior isn’t worth the heartache. HE isn’t worth the heartache.

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Despite what so many people have tried to convince you over the years, you don’t need a man in your life. Especially one as worthless as the one you’ve chosen to fight for. One that is dead set on making your life a living hell every time he doesn’t get his way or is in a bad mood.

I understand that you think you love him but I can tell you from experience that you’re probably just infatuated with the idea of him. You love the guy that was charming and chased you until you finally caved and gave him a chance. The guy that went above and beyond to try and prove his worth.

Not the guy that gave up the facade the moment you fell for him. The one that yells and starts fights so he can blame it on you when he goes to visit the skank he swears he’s only friends with. The guy that makes you feel smaller than a speck of dirt on his shoe so you don’t think you can do it without him. The one that throws a fit like a two-year-old when he doesn’t get his way.

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And if it really is love, if you really do love him, you need to stop and ask yourself if he feels the same. Because while you would go to the ends of the earth for him, I doubt he’d do the same for you. And if the love is a one-way street, then the relationship is going to be hell for the one in love.

Leaving him is scary. You think that you may not be good enough to find a guy that will love you the way you deserve. That, if the guy you’re with can’t put up with you or love you, maybe no one will.

That’s all B.S. that he wants you to believe. In reality, you leaving him is going to be so much easier for you than it will be for him. It will benefit you much more than the half-assed relationship you’re in.

You see, when you stop making excuses for him and leave his sorry behind, you gain things that he’s taken away from you. Your confidence. Your voice. Control of your life. And with that, you can do anything.

So stop making excuses for his abusive behavior. Stop letting him treat you like a doormat. Leave him. Go find yourself. And go fall in love with yourself.

Because only then will you find a guy that will love you the way you deserve to be loved and a relationship you can work at without it being toxic.

RELATED: I Saved Myself From An Emotionally Abusive Man (And You Can Too)

Torianne is a 23-year-old small town girl with very big dreams. She's currently working on finishing her first novel. She's a dog mom and a true Ravenclaw. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.