You can't find something until you know exactly what you're searching for.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Apr 30, 2021
Taking a personality test is a quick and effective way to find out hidden truths about yourself. And one of the most challenging things for people in any stage of being in love is figuring out what's really most important to you, and what you most deeply and secretly want to experience in your relationships.
When you meet someone you're attracted to and they happen to be attracted to you too, taking a breather to assess whether or not being with this person gives you want and need sometimes feels like it would suck all of the romance right out of your currently enjoyable dynamic. Heck, this can even be the case when you aren't seeing someone exclusively and are still living in singles' life of casual dating or if you've been in a stable relationship with someone for a good long time.
You know you want to be "happy" in a relationship, but you may not always know what that looks like for you, let alone what it could possibly mean.
But this personality test can give you the answer.
There are countless resources available to help you figure out what you want most in your love life. If you're willing to put in the work, there are therapists who will work with you one-on-one to help establish your goals in regard to love, and there are plenty of books, apps, and TV shows dedicated to helping you figure out not just who you are, but what would works best for you when you're partnered up.
And, frankly, all of that can sometimes get a little overwhelming, so if you'd rather not wade through self-help book after self-help book, or at least, not right now, we've got another solution for you.
Look at the image below and make a note of what you see first.
Then, scroll down and find out what the this personality test reveals about what's secretly most important to you in love and relationships.
1. If the first thing you saw was the man's face...
If you saw the man's face first when you looked at the picture above, you are a big picture thinker — literally.
You can't help but stop yourself from planning everything, from what you're going to eat for every meal the next day down to where the children you haven't even had yet should to go to college. It's just how you're wired.
What you secretly want most out of a relationship is stability and control.
You feel your best when you are guiding others and steering the ship of your lives. A strong partner who is willing to let you take the helm is exactly what you need, particularly when they trust you enough to kick back and not make any waves.
2. If the first thing you saw was the sheep...
If you saw the sheep when you first looked at the picture, you're a sensitive, romantic person who is easily hurt.
You have a proverbial mountain of love to give, but you're wary of doing just that out of fear that you will be rejected, or worse still, let down in every possible way. You know being this way isn't easy, but you can't help it. Your heart drives you.
What you want out of a relationship is to be constantly swept off your feet.
You want to feel 100 percent adored at all times. You want a life of being carried over the threshold daily and surprised with flowers nightly. You want a partner who will show up at your office and serenade you with song.
And, what's more, you want someone who totally means it all. You want a life in which romance comes naturally and the love behind it is unquestionably sincere.
3. If the first thing you saw was the boy at the tree...
If you saw the boy at the tree when you first looked at the picture above, you're a hopeful realist.
You know better than to assume every first date you go on is going to be your last first date, but you can't help thinking about how his last name sounds with your first name. You've been through the mill of dating, but you still believe in love. You just aren't as quick to fall in love as you were when you first started this crazy ride.
What you want out of a relationship is open communication and trust.
You don't need flowers and you don't need grandiose but empty gestures. You need someone who understands that a relationship only works when the people in it put in the time and effort.
For you, a partner who can constructively speak their mind is absolutely key. To you, talking about your feelings, both good and bad, is the only way to achieve real and lasting intimacy.
4. If the first thing you saw was the huts...
If you saw the huts when you first looked at the picture above, you're the kind of person who is scared of a real relationship.
You like the idea of having a partner in theory, but the reality of sharing your life with someone scares the pants off of you. You've run away from good relationships before, and you may have even ghosted the odd partner here and there. You don't want to be alone forever, but the idea of being in a "real" relationship is daunting.
What you want out of a relationship is friendship and physical intimacy without labels.
Other people can call it whatever they want, but what really matters to you at the end of the day is that your partner is a friend, just a friend with whom you have sex. They understand that you need to move a little bit more slowly, and they know you thrive when relationships aren't defined to a perfect T.
Let everyone else waste away defining their relationships. You could go without that noise forever!
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cats, Batman and Margot. She's an experienced generalist with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, pop culture, and true crime.