2 MAJOR Reasons You Haven't Found Real Happiness Yet

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how to be happy advice from experts

If money can't buy love, then you know it certainly can't buy happiness. So why are people so focused on accumulating stuff?

To become rich or famous are major life goals for many people. Lots of people work hard to build an amazing online platform in hopes of making it big one day, accumulating "followers" the same way people have always tried to accumulate wealth.

Other people might believe that being more beautiful, more fit, or more popular is the way to build a happy life. 

But something is missing with those goal, right? It has to be more than that.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to become rich and famous, but it's intriguing to meet someone who works a simple job, living a satisfyingly quiet life who has a smile and a glow about them. That level of personal satisfaction and optimism can catch an observer off guard.

So, what's the secret? Is there a connection between happiness and a person's success and fame? Or is there a simple formula to follow to become a truly happy person? 

Saying happiness is a choice sounds too simple. What about optimism? Or is happiness a lifestyle meant only for a lucky few?

Because, let's face it, there are optimists who are downright miserable. 

Psychiatrist Robert Wildinger was the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development and how to be happy. Wildinger discovered a science to happiness that proved happy people are relationship-focused.

RELATED: Don't Let People Shame You For Being Your Goofy, Open-Hearted Self

The more emotionally-connected a person is with others, the happier they feel. They also live longer and are physically healthier, too! 

But what if you're in a family or situation that is complicated and stressful? What do you do when you live with a negative person and can't escape the tension their dark-cloud mindset brings into your life?

What if you are the fixer of all things, and the mental load doesn't leave any room for feeling joy — happiness is the furthest thought from your mind.

Because we know that so many people want to know how to be happy, we asked our YT Experts to provide some insight!

Turns out, figuring out how to be happy starts with knowing what you should NOT do. 

Here are two major reasons why most people fail in their pursuit of happiness, according to some of our Experts.

1. You're always looking toward the future. 

“Often we believe that happiness will come in the form of a big event like, ‘As soon as I get a job’, ‘As soon as I get married’, ‘As soon as I retire’. 

But real, lasting happiness is experienced in small things that make us smile. As cliché as it sounds, big happiness is made up of tiny and meaningful moments.”

Jennifer Hunt is a Certified Holistic Life Coach who helps women find the missing pieces of living an authentic, abundant and joyful life. Who would you be if you knew who you were? Answer your own questions in a powerful, effective and fun way. Schedule your FINDING YOU call and visit Sisters of Earth and Sky for exploration, inspiration, and playfulness.

2. You're overly focused on putting others first. 

“I worked with a lot of divorced people when I hosted my divorce retreat, and one of the common blocks to their happiness was the fact that during their marriages they spent so much time making other people happy — their husband, their kids — that they lost touch with what brings them joy.

We're often so busy taking care of other people that we don't take the time to do the things that make us happy.

The key to happiness is doing something you enjoy every day — pursue your hobbies, take a walk in nature, admire the flowers in your yard, volunteer for a cause you're passionate about — whatever you love to do.”

Author Kimberly Pryor Wilkes helps divorced people rebuild their lives. Follow her on YourTango or visit


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