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Rule #1: Don't forget the breath mints!
By Em & Lo — Written on Apr 06, 2017
Sometimes it’s easier to impart sexual technique by focusing on what NOT to do — especially when it comes to something as variable as kissing, where there are so many different styles, techniques, and preferences that many people enjoy.
So by focusing on the negative — the things almost all people DON’T enjoy — we hope to help you osculate with style.
1. Have bad breath or unclean teeth
It’s the equivalent of hooking up in underwear with skid marks.
2. Lick your lips before going in
This is not dinner.
3. Drown your lips in gloss or lipstick.
READ: Dear Em & Lo: My Boyfriend Hates Kissing
4. Tongue jab.
5. Have chapped lips.
6. Aim for their uvula with your tongue.
7. Slobber all over your partner’s face
Spit is cold and nasty when it gets outside your mouth.
8. Make your tongue hard and pointy.
READ: Dear Dr. Kate: When Should I Tell a Partner About Oral Herpes?
9. Head straight for the boobs, the ass or the crotch as soon as the kissing commences.
10. Immediately ram your tongue inside.
11. Open your mouth as wide as possible, like you’re attempting to eat the other person’s head.
12. Kiss with a cold sore (i.e. oral herpes).
13. Fail to mention that you have oral herpes, even if you’re currently asymptomatic, as there’s still always a chance — albeit slight — of transmission.
14. Run your tongue along their gums.
15. Sneak up on someone so they don’t have a chance to deflect the incoming kiss.
16. Hold their head in a headlock or press too hard, especially if beard stubble is involved.
17. Withhold tongue altogether.
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18. Conduct the oral equivalent of a limp handshake.
It’ll make your partner feel like they’re kissing a dead fish.
19. Look around or over your partner’s shoulder during the kiss.
Some people like to kiss with their eyes open, but we recommend keeping your peepers shuttered during a first or early kiss, as wide eyes can freak some people out.
20. Kiss with gum or food in your mouth.
This article was originally published at Em & Lo. Reprinted with permission from the author.