Photo: courtesy of the author
I'm proud of my anxiety.
By Kaia James — Written on Apr 16, 2018
I used to be scared of swimming. My friends would laugh and say, “It’s no big deal, Kaia. It’s just water.” But to me, it was a giant pool of fear.
I'm also afraid of the dark, so I like to be close to my parents when I fall asleep. I get shy around people I don’t know and my words get jumbled when I talk in front of crowds.
People tell me to calm down all the time. But I am afraid and I can’t help it. I even get upset stomachs whenever I'm really nervous and have to take medicine to make them go away.
I know sometimes I think about things differently than other people. I notice things that other people don’t. I have anxiety.
I used to hate that my anxiety made me different. I thought I wasn't brave like my friends or that maybe it meant something was wrong with me. But there’s nothing wrong with me. It’s not weak to admit you’re afraid... it’s strong!
And I don’t just notice things that make me afraid — I notice things that make me smile, too. I notice when a rainbow is in the sky. I notice when you cut your hair. I notice when you’re sitting alone at lunch and need a friend. I notice when you need me, and I am there because I know what it’s like to feel alone.
Just like Spiderman has spidey senses, that’s what my anxiety is for me. Having anxiety — and always noticing the little things about people — makes me kind. So no, I am not going to calm down or get over it. And no, there is nothing wrong with me.
I’m proud of being who I am and proud that I’m brave enough to admit when I’m afraid. I’m proud of my anxiety because anxiety is my superpower.
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Kaia James is in the 5th grade and her column 'Dear Diary' appears in every issue of Girls' World, a magazine for kids age 7-11. This article is from the current issue, available on newsstands now.
This article was originally published at Girls World Mag. Reprinted with permission from the author.