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If You Do These 4 Things, You're Dangerously Close To Cheating

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By Elizabeth Laura Nelson

It’s a fact of life that some people cheat. But why do people cheat? Well, whether they’re genetically destined to be cheaters, as some scientists have suggested, or they’re cheating for some other reason, there will always be people who find it difficult to be faithful to their partners.

Maybe you’re one of them. Or maybe not. But are you really sure? Most of the time, these things start innocently enough. Before you know it, you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole.


RELATED: Cheating Is Always A Choice


There are certain habits that relationship experts say are typical of people who tend to end up cheating on their partners. If you or your partner are engaging in any of them, you might want to take a long hard look in the mirror and consider why you’re behaving this way. Here are 4 signs of cheating you should pay attention to before you do something you’ll regret.

1. You're always complaining.

You know the type: nothing is ever quite good enough for them and there’s always something to nitpick. But if you’re never satisfied with anything, at some point you’re not going to be satisfied with your relationship, either. And when you’re unhappy, you’re more likely to tempted to stray.

Even more toxic is complaining about your partner to others. Telling your girlfriends every little thing he does that pisses you off, or griping to his family about his workaholic habits isn’t just mean, it’s a betrayal of trust.

2. You take a lot of risks.

People who have affairs are all about the drama. To keep things interesting, they tend to be very willing to take risks including cheating on a partner and risking getting caught.

Psychologist Ildiko Tabori says that serial cheaters “prefer to ride an emotional roller coaster rather than find joy in emotional stability... [cheaters] get an adrenaline rush from the figurative bumps and bruises that cause strife and turmoil with their significant other.”

Not only are cheaters risk-takers, they’re opportunistic. They tend to be very calculating, seeking out situations where they may have a chance to play around. “One is more likely to cheat when opportunity arises — not simply when they are away from their significant other, but when the opportunity to prey upon a potential mate presents itself,” warns Dr. Tabori.

3. You keep things to yourself.

One thing that can lead to unhappiness in your relationship, which then could lead to cheating, is failing to tell your partner what you want. Do you wish you could spice things up in the bedroom but are afraid to broach the subject with your partner? Are you feeling lonely and wishing for more connection, but don’t know how to fix it, so you clam up and say nothing?


RELATED: Why Some People Cannot Seem To Stop Themselves From Cheating


A 2014 study by Ashley Madison, the infamous website for would-be cheaters, showed that, in general, men cheat because they’re looking for sexual variety, while women cheat because they want to feel desired. Here’s an idea: maybe if we just told each other what we wanted, we wouldn’t feel so compelled to cheat.

4. You tell white lies.

If you’ve told your partner a few little lies in the past and gotten away with it, you’re more likely to keep upping the ante.

There’s a difference between telling your partner that you didn’t notice he’d gained some weight (when really, you did notice), and telling him you were running errands when you were really meeting an old boyfriend for a drink. The first lie is one meant to protect his feelings, while the second is to prevent yourself from having to have an uncomfortable confrontation.

But it might not even matter what type of lie it is or what your motivation is. A study in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology suggests that people who tell white lies are more likely to deceive their partners about bigger things, too.

So next time you’re tempted to spare your partner's feelings or avoid a fight, maybe it’s best to just be honest. While you’re at it, speak up about what you want, settle down and stop taking risks, and try to curb the temptation to complain as much. It might just save your relationship from infidelity.


RELATED: 8 Things You Should Know About Cheaters (According To Science)


Elizabeth Laura Nelson is a writer who lives in Brooklyn with her two daughters, occasional mice and innumerable to-do lists. Follow her on Twitter.

This article was originally published at SheSaid. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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