It's like the mother of all breakups.
By D'Vaughn McCrae — Written on Mar 29, 2018
Rejection hurts. And ghosting is a rejection monster. According to Psychology Today, "social rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain. In fact, you can reduce the emotional pain of rejection with a pain medication like Tylenol."
But before that comes the mystery. Why haven't they been responding? Are they okay? Mad at you? Busy? Inevitably, if you like someone, they're going to stay on your mind. It'll haunt you to madness — well, not Tell Tale Heart madness, but certainly a big round of sadness!
Having answers right off the bat would make it so much easier because our minds tend to be crueler to ourselves, and quite creative about it too, especially as more time passes and the plot thickens, so to speak.
So, now you know the reason why ghosting literally hurts people. But now let's get into the thoughts and such that comes with it all.
1. Ghosting implies that they don’t think you’re worth the respect.
You just don't treat people like that. It's disrespectful, and there's no way around it. Be mature and tell the truth to the person you're thinking about ghosting. They could be understanding.
2. Ghosting implies you’re not worth a conversation.
This kind of piggybacks off of the last one. But this time, it's more about lack of caring. I mean, do you want to be known as a heartless person?
3. When you're ghosted, you worry about what happened to them.
You briefly wonder if they’re dead... until you see their new tweet. Then it feels like you don't matter, right? Because it's a horrible feeling to see someone acting like you're not a real person.
4. Every time they don’t text back is a slap in the face.
You kind of wish they would die. But at the same time, you wish they would tell you where you went wrong. You can never tell if it was your fault or not.
5. It’s out of nowhere.
You get no warnings. It takes you by surprise, so you don't even know what to do or think. You ask yourself, where did things go bad?
6. It leaves you questioning.
What was the problem? Why did they do this? Why would they do this? Would I like the truth if they did tell me?
7. You heavily criticize yourself.
What’s wrong with me? What did I do to them? I must be an awful person. It’s probably because I’m ugly, or because of that birthmark, or...
8. Ghosting sabotages your trust.
In the end, they treated you like crap. You think you know a person, and then they pull this. Will someone do the same thing again? Should I just ghost them first next time?
9. It’s uncomfortable to talk about.
When people ask, what do you say? You would rather erase those moments you two shared. Because it makes you uncomfortable thinking that you could trust them.
10. It feels shameful.
How did I let this happen? A lot of embarrassment comes with being ghosted. You never saw it coming because you never thought you would ever put yourself in that position.
11. You start to question if they were even real.
Was everything fake? Did I even really know him? Or was it getting too real and he had to run away since commitment seems to be so scary?
12. You lose respect for them.
And it stinks that you seriously cared about someone like that. They’re either a jerk or a coward. And you don't know what you would do if you ever saw them again.
13. You get absolutely no closure.
Thanks for nothing. You’re on your own. You're stuck hoping no one else wastes your time, too.