How To Get Rid Of A Hickey As Fast As Humanly Possible

When you wake up with a red mark on your neck, you desperately need to know how to get rid of a hickey fast.

a seated woman laughs in pleasure as a man kisses her neck from behind her Getty
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After a great date ends with a super passionate makeout session, you wake up with a hickey so intense you look like you went out with a vampire who was cheating on his blood-free diet.

It’s going to be hard to convince your friends, parents, or boss that you got hit in the neck with a golf ball last night.

So, what do you do? If you don’t want to buy week's worth of turtlenecks or pretend you've developed a serious allergy, here's how to get rid of a hickey fast without breaking your bank.

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How to Get Rid of a Hickey Fast

1. Investigate to be sure of what you're dealing with.

Is it a hickey or a bruise? If you were stumbling around or had a rough romp last night, it may be hard to tell. Bruises will appear black, brown, or yellow. Hickeys will be dark purple, red, and pink. If it’s a hickey, it's time for damage control.

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2. Make it ice cold.

You may be mad at your lover for leaving their mark, so turn that chill to good use. Use an ice pack within the first twelve hours to reduce blood flow and repair your broken blood vessels. You can also put metal spoons in the freezer and use them in lieu of a cold compress. If you’re expecting a wild night, you may want to stock up in advance.

3. Heat things up.

You already got hot in the bedroom — now bring that heat to your hickey! After twelve hours, your blood vessels will be healed. Get your circulation flowing by holding a warm towel or compress on the hickey. Your blood vessels will open and direct blood away from the scene.

4. Mend it with massage.

Everyone loves a massage, including your neck’s war wound. Apply gentle pressure to help break up the blood, then massage in a circle from the center, outward.

Some people swear by massaging it with a toothbrush, comb, or coin to get more power, but that can be painful and hurt your skin. I’d recommend doing it with your cold or hot compress instead.

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5. Check out your medicine and beauty cabinets.

Aspirin and even coffee help dilate your blood vessels and increase circulation, which can heal your hickey. Similarly, peppermint and mint-based oils and lotions can reduce the redness. If you have Vitamin K or E creams, they can help, too! Just be sure they don’t irritate your skin.

6. Cover it up with makeup.

When all else fails, some great concealer can help you. Get some thick, professional foundation that is used for stage lights, tattoos, and scars. Make sure it’s slightly lighter than your skin tone, to help reduce the dark redness. Don’t forget to blend!

7. Utilize your favorite winter wear.

If you have some place to be and the hickey is not healing fast enough, you might have to plan your wardrobe around your hickey. If it’s too warm for a turtle neck sweater or hoodie, opt for a nice scarf. If you have long hair, style it to cover your bruise. Of course, a neck brace could always help.

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8. Give it time.

Like all bruises, your tramp stamp of the neck needs time to heal. As long as you’re not going to a job interview, your first day of work, or a family holiday, you’ll make it through. Iin the meantime, you can always tell everyone you burned yourself with a curling iron.

RELATED: How To Tell He Loves You By His Kiss: 12 Types Of Kisses & Their Meaning

Slutty Girl Problems aims to give you a daily stream of funny yet thought-provoking posts about sex, dating, relationships, feminism, and many more topics.

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