Love, Self

A Strong Woman NEVER Loses Herself When She Finds Someone Else

Photo: Halay Alex/Shutter Stock

Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, this really cool thing happens where you get so wrapped up in the other person that you completely forget about all the things you wanted to do. 

Sarcasm aside, I’ve met plenty of awesome people who don't let themselves fall victim to an all-consuming loveThey still make themselves a priority, and they are our heroes. 

While it is possible, it can be harder for some (a.k.a. me). 

I always say I’m not going to lose myself in a relationship, but it never fails to happen. 

The last guy I dated even made a joke that when he first met me, I was waking up at 6 a.m., and he had turned me into a girl who sleeps past noon.

I may have laughed at the time, but deep down I knew it wasn’t really funny. 


Some of us are way too willing to adopt to our boyfriend’s lifestyle habits and sleeping schedules. We compromise our interests in movies and restaurants in favor of theirs. They slowly, but surely mold us into their perfect female counterpart, and we go along with it with a smile. 

It’s gotta stop. We've gotta stop. 

Now you might want to seek the counsel of your mom or your therapist on this one, but for me I found the reasoning behind my behavior is that I want to be distracted from my goals. I’m so terrified of failing at all the things I want to do, that I’m more than willing to lose track of time with a cute guy who already thinks I’m awesome. 

Being enough all on your own is hard, and it’s so much easier to just find comfort and validation within a relationship. But wanting to take the easy way out isn’t going to make it easier down the road. 

If you don’t address your issues with fear and insecurity now, they’ll just keep building and building until they’re too overwhelming to tackle.

Being in a relationship is great if it’s for the right reasons (i.e. he’s a really good person, and he compliments your life), but it’s just a distraction if you’re only in it because you think you can’t survive without the comfort. 


Let me be the first to tell you that you can. You can be OK — and even happy — by yourself. Don’t let getting another person’s validation distract you from finding your own. 

So if you’re in a relationship now, or even just seeing somebody, make sure you practice some self-love. Make yourself a priority and find that inner power. 

You’ll be glad you did.