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And don’t you dare forget it.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on Jan 05, 2022
Far too often I see good girls wasting their time on guys who aren’t worth it.
Not to say these gentlemen are total a-holes (some are), but I mean wasting time in the sense that the girls want a relationship and the guys do not. No one wants to be a dick and say “Hey, I don’t really want to date you,” and people get strung along.
Now, it’s really easy to play the victim in this situation. We can spend all day blaming the guy for sending mixed messages and making you think that he wanted to same things. But that’s not a productive way of thinking, and it will only keep you in a constant rotation of these situations until you grow old and die.
So let’s stop being wimps here, and admit to ourselves that we’re also at fault.
We’re the ones letting the guys string us along.
We’re the ones who hold on to something when we’re well aware we should be letting go.
If a guy wants to be with you, there’s a 95% chance that you will know it. Sure, there is always that small possibility that your life is actually a romantic comedy and circumstances are keeping you two apart even though you both really want to be together — but probably not.
Dating is full of miscommunications, but when both people want the same thing, a relationship is possible and things will be much more clear.
He’ll ask you on dates. He’ll introduce you to his friends.
He’ll actually tell you that he likes you and wants to be with you.
Those are the only guys you should be chasing after. Anyone who plants the seed of doubt in your mind does not have the same intentions as you. Move on.
You’re worth more than a second guess or a maybe. You deserve morning texts, not booty calls after 10 p.m.
In fact, let’s just make a pact right now that if a guy texts you after 10 p.m., you do not respond. Just trust me on that one.
If you’re getting the vibe that something’s not right, listen to it. Brush it off and move forward. This is also a lot easier to do when you don’t sleep with them, but that’s up to you.
Don’t ever confuse a mixed message as something to decode.
Most guys don’t decode things. They say it as it is.
Know your worth and love yourself enough to hold out for the real deal. And if all a guy is feeding you is indecision, make the decision to walk away.
You’ll be much happier with yourself — and with a guy who’s actually into you — in the long run.
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Emily Blackwood is an editor at YourTango who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between.