Self, Sex

15 Totally Unnecessary Gifts For People Who Love, Love, LOVE Boobs

Photo: Etsy
gifts for boobs

Ahoy, boob lovers

Whether you've got them, want them, or worship them, we can all agree that boobs are pretty darn awesome.

They are literally life-giving! Plus, boobs make some clothes look extra awesome. Not to mention the fact that our boobs are basically built-in flotation devices. 

Given all their greatness, it seems obvious that we should all do more every single day to celebrate boobs. And what better way than by going on a mini shopping spree buying only objects that celebrate the titties, be the big or itty bitty? 

Here are 15 of our favorite boob-tastic accessories for the boob-lover in your life — or your own boob-obsessed self. 

1. Boob earrings 

 

These bring a whole new mean to that old lyric "do you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier," and I love it. 

$17.43, Etsy

2. Boob ring dish 

There is something inherently tasteful about this simple dish with its striking blue curves. 

$12.00, Etsy

3. Boob necklace 

You can really have fun with this one. Someone asks if it is supposed to be boobs and you can scream, "PERVERT!" 

$18.00, Etsy

4. Wooden laser cut boob cuff links

For the Don Draper in your life, it doesn't get more awesome than these cufflinks. 

$20.00, Etsy

5. Big boob tunic t-shirt

CLASSIC! Channel your inner bro, and buy at least seven of these. Heck, they're on sale, right? 

$12.00, Etsy

6. No bra tee-shirt 

Say it loud, and say it proud: Bras are the worst! 

$18.12, Etsy

7. White, nude, polka-boob pillow

If you're worried about being too showy with your boob purchases, this hip modern pillow is the cure for all that ails you. 

$38.00, Etsy

8. Knitted, boob, cell phone sleeve 

Let's face it, we all get lonely. I've seen Her I know what's up. 

$22.00, Etsy

9. Custom boob mug and creamer

These are artsy, hipster perfection. Get it? A CREAMER! 

$20.00, Etsy

9. Cake boob poster 

If only bodies worked that way, amiright? 

$10.74, Etsy

10. Trio of boob soaps

Who knew that such darling soap could be so dirty? 

$18.59, Etsy 

11. Boob scarf

For when you're feeling like socially acceptable public fondling in the winter months. 

$29.99, Etsy

12. Boob chocolate sucker

Because the only thing better than sucking on boobs is sucking on chocolate boobs. 

$2.25, Etsy

13. Knitted boob hat 

Keep your head warm, and the people on the streets thoroughly entertained. 

$24.00, Etsy

14. Classy boob ring 

For the well-to-do boob lover this cultured pearl ring is a pricey but stunning homage to the breasticles. 

$300.00, Etsy

15. Boob earmuffs 

Perfect to show everyone at the rock show that just because you relish keeping your hearing that doesn't mean you aren't all titties all the time. 

$9.99, Stupid

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