10 Ways To Keep The Peace When His Penis Size Doesn't Measure Up

Photo: tumblr / W Magazine
10 Ways To Keep The Peace When He Has A Small Penis

Ladies, you know how you feel when you’re overweight and even your fat jeans don’t fit anymore? Or you’re having a bad hair month at the same time your best friend scores a role in a shampoo commercial? Or what about when you’re finally forced to admit that you’re not, in fact, a B-cup bra size but are actually a double A?

Multiply these feelings by, like, a billion, and that’s what it feels like to have a small penis. Except that no diet or hair stylist or padded bra from Victoria’s Secret can do a thing to change a guy’s penis size. (And no surgeon should either — penis enlargement surgery is both incredibly dangerous and pretty much ineffective, too: here’s why.)

But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do about your partner’s small penis. In fact, how you talk about your guy’s penis, and how you act around it, can make all the difference in the world to him. Say the wrong thing, and you could seriously hurt a penis’s feelings (like, permanently). But say or do the right thing, and you may just transform your entire sex life. Because the worst thing about having a small penis is how it affects a guy’s sexual confidence in bed — but you have the power in you to boost this confidence.  

Here’s how:

1. Lie About His Penis, But Tell Small, Believable Lies

Yeah, yeah, we know we’re big proponents of the truth on this website. But when it comes to penis size, we’re okay with a little truthiness instead.

Think back to what we were saying about gaining weight: Would you really want your guy to be totally blunt about the way you look? Or would you rather he say something really complimentary about your curves, and convince you he’s still madly lusting after you? Same goes for penis size.

But you have to tell believable lies. Telling a big whopper that is very obviously a lie (“Omigod that’s like the biggest penis I’ve ever seen, you should totally be a porn star!!”) is no better than the harsh truth (“That’s the smallest penis I’ve ever seen”). It’s worse than the truth, in fact, because it’s condescending to boot.

Instead, tell him you like his size. It’s okay to admit that you’ve seen a bit bigger, but make sure you mention that you’ve seen a lot smaller, too (and it’s definitely okay to lie about this part!). Tell him that a good fit is what counts, and his penis fits you perfectly. You might also add that being too big can be uncomfortable, and make a lot of positions uncomfortable or even impossible.

2. Talk About What His Penis Does For You

Take the focus away from the size of his penis and shine a light instead on what his penis does.

Talk about the ways his penis makes you happy. Tell him you love taking him into your mouth. Tell him you love the way his penis hits your G-spot. You could even tell him that his penis is better at reaching his G-spot than any penis you’ve ever known. (Given that the G-spot is just a few inches in, this is probably true.) Tell him you love feeling him get hard in your hand.

Most of all, tell him how happy you are in bed with him, and remind him that his penis plays a starring role in this state of affairs.

3. Tell Him He’s Great in Bed

And don’t just tell him once. Tell him this a lot. (Trust us, guys will never get sick of hearing you extolling their sexual prowess.)

And be specific about what makes him so good in bed — maybe it’s his advanced oral skills, or his hands, or the way he grinds against your clitoris and labia during the Coital Alignment Technique. The more specific you are with your compliments, the more believable they’ll be. As a bonus: when you compliment the things he does well, he’ll know to do more of those things in the future!

4. Suggest a 69

The great thing about small penises is how easy they are to go down on. You’ll feel like a porn star when you can take his entire penis into your mouth. But if you sense he’s insecure about this, then suggest a 69… he’ll be distracted enough going down on you that all he’ll be able to take on board is how good your mouth feels on his penis.

And the Pavlovian conditioning of this act is awesome… you will probably moan in response to the cunnilingus, and his brain will take on board the fact that you’re moaning in pleasure while his penis is in your mouth. There’s a sexual confidence booster if ever we heard one!

5. Tell Him Exactly What Makes You Orgasm

Chances are, your clitoris is quite involved in your orgasm. Chances are, intercourse alone is not enough to bring you to orgasm. Which means that the size or girth or his penis is not necessarily part of your orgasmic equation. Make sure he knows this!

Show him how his hands and maybe a small toy, when combined with intercourse, push you over the edge. Not only will this ensure that you get as many orgasms as possible, also he will realize that size really doesn’t matter when it comes to bringing most women to climax.

6. Consider Anal Sex

We’re not saying you have to have anal sex with your boyfriend or husband, and we’re not saying that every guy with a smaller than average penis should expect that his partner will be up for some backdoor action. But would you at least consider it?

Sure, with a larger specimen, anal sex might have seemed about as appealing as a root canal, but this is different. You might actually enjoy it — if you do it right. (You’ll find a bunch of how-tips here — the most important tips being LUBE and TIME. Lots of both!) Because there’s no better way to convince your guy his penis is special to you than to let him christen a new entrance.

No pressure, of course! Just, you know, bear it in mind.

7. Talk Dirty

Talk dirty about his penis during sex. Talk about other stuff, too. Narrate what’s going on. Be very vocal about your enjoyment. This will make the sex extra hot, and is a nice way of reminding your guy that you’re not lying there thinking about how small his penis is.

8. Buy Him a Vibrating Cock Ring

Because giving a gift is a great way of showing you care! Tell him the vibrating ring is for you — which is no lie, by the way. A vibrating silicone cock ring can provide vibrating clitoral stimulation during intercourse. What’s not to love? This puts less pressure on his penis to do the job. Plus, some guys find that their erections are a little more impressive when they wear a love ring. 

We like LELO’s Tor 2. Or, if $199 is too steep for you, sells a wide range of vibrating silicone cock rings for as little as $23, like this one and this one. You might have to play around with a few different designs until you find the one that’s the most comfortable fit for you and your partner.

9. Initiate Sex

There’s no better way to convince a guy that you like his penis than to be the one who initiates sex. It’s as simple as that.

10. Love His Penis

Lavish attention on it — with your mouth, with your hands, with your bare feet under the table during dinner. Objectify it. Lust after it. The penis is a simple thing, and will thrive under this sort of attention.

Even if you don’t think this is the guy you will marry, loving his penis is a gift that keeps on giving — it will help him go out into the big bad world with increased sexual confidence. And sexual confidence trumps penis size any day of the week.

This article was originally published at Em & Lo. Reprinted with permission from the author.