Love

Husband Sent His Wife A Spreadsheet Of All The Times She Said No To Sex — Along With Her 'Excuses'

Photo: Reddit
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It seems pretty obvious to me that if you're a man who isn't getting enough sex in his marriage, don't send your wife a spreadsheet listing the times and the excuses for not having sex.

And yet, a Reddit user received such a spreadsheet from her husband, in the most cowardly way, as she described on her Reddit post:

"Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this; we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone.

"Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my 'excuses', using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his 'document', we've only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of the 27 'attempts' on his part."

It doesn't look like the work of a man who wants to work on things with his wife.

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Photo: Reddit

Obviously, if he really wanted to work on their intimacy he would have used a different tactic. It looks as if he was purposely trying to make her so mad that she'd leave.

Besides having a frequency of sex problem, this couple clearly has trouble communicating, and communication is vital to the success of any relationship.

And what's the first step in communicating well? Respect, of which this husband clearly doesn't have any for his wife, or empathy for that matter.

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I have to wonder if these two crazy kids were able to patch up their differences and get back on track with their relationship. 

Someone even made a response spreadsheet outlining the wife's likely reasons she said no, and it's hilarious. 

So, men, if you're not getting as much sex as you want, do not — I repeat, do not — make a spreadsheet or powerpoint presentation to illustrate to your wife the error of her ways.

You'll most likely find that it will blow up in your face, and if she shares it via social media people all over the internet will think you're an idiot.

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Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day. Check out her website or and more of her work on Medium

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