What Happened When I Let My Man Do My Makeup For A Week

Photo: Michelle Spollen
What Happened When I Let My Man Do My Makeup For A Week

My boyfriend is a web designer. He spends his days perfecting everything he works on down to the minutest detail, turning something technical into a bona fide art. You know what else is an art? Makeup.

Mastering the art of makeup takes time, patience and practice. There are so many different techniques: natural, smoky eye, contoured, and even clown contoured. You not only need to know what color best matches your skin tone, but what will bring out your eyes, how to pick lipstick that won't make your teeth look yellow, and how not to poke your eyeball out with eyeliner. And don't even get me started on "fleeking" brows.

For the most part, I'm awful at all of the aforementioned. Ninety percent of the time, I stroll out into the world fresh-faced, unless I have a giant pimple that desperately needs concealing.

But since my boyfriend is technically an artist, and makeup is technically an art, I figured I'd give him a shot at (AKA annoy him until he agreed to) doing my makeup for a week.

RELATED: I Went 30 Days Without Makeup — And Yikes! Never Again

Day 1: Covering my designer dark circles

Sometimes I wake up and my face is just not cooperative. This was one of those days. I'd only had about 2.5 hours of sleep, so the bags under my eyes were undoubtedly designer. I asked my boyfriend to make me look less zombie-ish so I could go to the grocery store without causing a mass apocalypse panic.

He succeeded in removing the under-eye circles and instead made it look like one of my eyes was drastically larger than the other.

Products used: Maybelline foundation, CoverGirl eyeliner, CoverGirl blush

Day 2: Following advice from a makeup tutorial

Feeling a little on the ambitious side, my boyfriend turned to YouTube for a makeup tutorial. He chose Manny Mua's Glam AF Holiday Makeup Tutorial, which we sat and watched together — and quit about 1/4 of the way in because I had exactly zero of the first 15 products he used.

Still determined to make me look, well ... glam AF, he went to work on my eyes. He chose a nude palette, which really just makes it look like I have liver spots above my eyes. I've never had so much eye shadow on at one time. In fact, I've probably never used that much eye shadow in my whole life combined.

It's also worth mentioning his attempt at contouring. I don't own bronzer, which didn't discourage him at all — he just put eye shadow on my cheeks instead. To finish off the look, he chose a bright pink lip that didn't match the eye makeup (or my pasty winter skin tone) one bit.

Products used: e.l.f. eye shadow palette, Prestige Khol Kajal eyeliner, CoverGirl Lashblast Fusion mascara, Revlon Colorburst Matte Balm in Unapologetic

Day 3: An attempt at a gothic look

"I want to make you goth," he said. Sounds easy enough, right? A little black eye shadow here, a little black eyeliner therem and you've got yourself a goth look. Nope. Instead, I ended up with this horrifying, no good, VERY BAD Joker-like makeup look. See for yourself (if you dare).

Products used: e.l.f. eye shadow palette, Prestige Khol Kajal eyeliner, Revlon Colorburst Balm Stain in Smitten

RELATED: How To Make Your Eyes Look Bigger With Or Without Eye Makeup

Day 4: Making bronzer the star of the show

Obviously unimpressed with my makeup collection, my boyfriend and I made a trip to CVS to re-up. He really wanted to contour my face (I blame you, Kim Kardashian), so we searched the aisles trying to find the right product. It took us forever because neither of us knew what bronzer even looked like.

We finally found a cheap option, along with a little eye shadow palette that had a diagram of where to apply each shade on the eye. The bronzer didn't show up as much as he would've liked, because he was decidedly disappointed with today's look. But who wouldn't be after yesterday's masterpiece?

Products used: Wet n’ Wild Color Icon eye shadow palette, Wet n’ Wild Color Icon bronzer, Prestige Khol Kajal eyeliner

Day 5: Forgoing makeup and staying fresh-faced

Lacking any major acne issues and minimal under-eye baggage, today was as good a day as any to confront the world makeup-free. My boyfriend did my makeup and added some moisturizer and let my skin run wild and free.

Products used: Clean & Clear Dual Action moisturizer

Day 6: Taking a shot at a blue color palette

Officially out of revolutionary ideas, my boyfriend went for a new color palette (blues) and a pink lip (my favorite pink lip, FYI). He's got colors down — it's the application that still needs a little (cough, a lot) of work. For example, no, these aren't tears streaming from my eyes. It's the eye shadow that somehow made it from the brush, missed my eyelids completely, and landed on my cheeks.

Products used: e.l.f. eye shadow palette, Revlon Colorburst Matte Balm in Elusive

Day 7: Finally, Photoshop to his rescue

At this point, my boyfriend was totally over my makeup supplies (or lack thereof) and decided to beautify me using Photoshop. He tamed my brows, added a pink lip and eye shadow, and highlighted my cheeks. And apparently, he also decided he doesn't like my natural eye color, so he changed them from green to brownish.

Note: he asked me to specify that this is first time he's used Photoshop for makeup, and this is in no way a reflection of his design skills.

RELATED: What Women In Their 60s Look Like With & Without Makeup (And Why They Wear It)

Micki Spollen is a YourTango editor, writer, and traveler. Follow her on Instagram and keep up with her travels on her website.

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