Love, Self

10 Reasons Chubby Guys Make The BEST Husbands

Photo: weheartit
chubby hubby

Ladies, it's time to broaden your standards and explore new realms. And by broaden, I mean it’s time to try something new and get your grabby hands on a nice, broad, chunky man.

There are many misconceptions about chubby men. People tend to think they're messy, smelly, unorganized, and so on. I'm here to show you that all of those ideas are delusions; these guys are made of 100 percent love and cuddles.

If you want to know the advantages of winning the heart of a handsome, chubby man, you've come to the right place. Here are the 10 best things about dating chubby guys:

1. They give the best hugs.

Let's be real: no one likes those uncomfortable, awkward, bony hugs where you must reposition yourself three times in order to not be poked by an elbow, shoulder, or perhaps even a collarbone.

Being held in the embrace of a charming, yummy-smelling chubby man is like falling back into that squishy beanbag you once begged your mother to get you, but she didn't. Only this beanbag has a nice, strong chest to rest your head on and big, wonderful arms that can twist your hair and maybe make a quick butt-grab!

2. They're great to cuddle.

For all of you ladies who have fantasized about falling asleep next to a fluffy panda bear, get yourself a chubby guy. Lying on his chest as a pillow will be a whole new discovery of comfort, and after sex it means instant nap time.

Big dudes love holding on to little precious things like you; spooning might be a sport for them. But beware of the occasional arm-crushing of your ribcage. You may have to hold your breath sometimes.

3. They're always warm.

Imagine the feeling of fresh sheets coming out of the dryer, and then folding the warm blankets around yourself to create a steamy, human burrito. If you're in a cold room and need some nice body heat to warm your hands, just put them in the hands of your boiling hot chubby guy.

These men generate so much heat that you may mistake one for a walking radiator. Although you may have to crank the AC during cuddling time, nothing beats snuggling up next to your toasty panda bear at the end of the day.

4. You'll always feel like you're a princess.

He'll pick you up in his arms, spin you around, and sometimes even throw you over his shoulder. Whatever he does, you'll feel like the cutest, cheekiest little Tinkerbell in all of Neverland.

Ask him to buy you pretty dresses whenever he can (unless you don't want one, of course), because you're his empress. And feed him grapes by hand when he's hungry because he's your sexy Greek god. Or maybe he'd prefer French fries.

5. They know how to cook.

This one should be a given. You'd be surprised at the five-star gourmet recipes these men can create just out of some Tabasco sauce, Rice-a-roni, and the last few Cheetos at the bottom of the bag. You'll also be delighted when the sandwich they order with everything on it actually tastes magnificent.

After dating a chubby guy, you'll want to put everything in sight on your sandwich. Olives? Yeah. Banana peppers? Go for it. Bacon and ramen noodles? Sure. The sky is the limit now.

6. They're incredibly modest.

As marvelous as they are, most chubby men know what it's like to feel insecure about their body. In a society that teaches us that at age ten we need to begin exercising to "stay in shape," it's easy to feel like you aren't good enough if "chubby" is simply just your body type.

When one knows what it's like to hate one's own physical appearance, it becomes natural to let the next person know that he or she is beautiful and should feel great about themselves. Your chubby man will appreciate your inner and outer beauty. Hopefully he'll realize how handsome he is, too.

7. They have super-squeezable cheeks.

They say the best girlfriends and wives are the ones who act like your mother. As much as you want to appear as his hot, fierce, freaky vixen all the time, the moment will come where you won't fight the urge to take his baby face in your hands and smother those chubby cheeks with all your love.

You might want to add a "coochie-coochie-coo" to feel more satisfied, and perhaps crumble his dignity.

8. They're great protectors.

He may be a chubby version of Hercules, but he's still Hercules. All girls love a big, strong man who can break the neck of a creeper with one swing of an arm. You can now walk home at midnight without crusty heads popping out of their car windows to yell, "Hey, Mama!" at you.

One look at your vicious grizzly of a boyfriend and they'll run a mile.

9. They aren't wanted by every girl.

Although chubby guys deserve all the love in the world, unfortunately they aren't viewed as beautiful by everybody. Some women just simply aren't chubby chasers, and we're the lucky ones who know what they're missing out on.

This comes in handy for you because there are less women you encounter who you'll have to high five ... in the face ... with a chair.

10. They're big, strong, and sexy.

You have to show love and affection to every inch of your man's body, and the more surface area he has means the more lovin' to do. Embrace his chubby charm and always let him know how much you appreciate his incredible sexiness and beauty.

At the end of the day, he's going to cherish you like no other, so keep him and his squeezable cheeks around. As long as you have him by your side, you'll be a protected princess receiving endless cuddles and hugs that can cheer up any bad day.

So, there you go, ladies. Go find yourself a nice big hulk of love. Y’all can thank me later.