Dear Mom: Your Husband Sexually Abused Me And I'll Never Forgive You

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Dear Mom: Your Husband Sexually Abused Me And I'll Never Forgive You
Heartbreak

Dear Mom,

You keep telling me how at eight years old, I suddenly became the most difficult child.

You made a joke out of it and said I was probably the only child to start puberty that young.

And when you said that, I cringed. I wanted to scream and cry. I had so many things I wanted to say to you just then — but I couldn't.

How does a mother not realize that when a child changes so abruptly, there's more at stake than puberty?

How does a mother not try to get to the bottom of her child's behavior?

I remember the day I was sexually abused as if it happened yesterday; the details of the sexual assault are irrelevant now.

RELATED: A Letter To 10-Year-Old Me, Who Was Repeatedly Sexually Abused

But a warning bell should've gone off in your head when I changed overnight into an angry, confused child.

I still ask myself why I couldn't confide in you.

There must have been something wrong in our relationship, though some of it had to do with the fact that he threatened to kill me if I told anyone.

But if our relationship would've been a better one, Mom, I would've told you.

The other thing I couldn't tell you —  and can never tell you  is that it was your husband who betrayed me.

He betrayed a sacred trust between a father and a child.

He did the unthinkable.

And you were painfully oblivious.

And for that, I'm not sure I can ever forgive you.

If there's one good thing that came out of all these horrible things, it's the relationship I built with my own children.

RELATED: The Actual Definitions Of Sexual Abuse & Sexual Harassment For People Who Think The Rules Have Changed

My son went through something similar with a "trusted worker," and my proudest and most painful moment in my parenting career came when he told me what happened.

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At least he had the opportunity to go for therapy and try to heal so it doesn't affect his life as much as the abuse has — and still does — affect mine.

Although this letter will never be sent, it's my hope that by writing it, I can heal just a little bit more.

Signed,

Your Daughter

RELATED: It Started When I Was 3 Years Old — What It's Like To Endure A Lifetime Of Sexual Abuse And Domestic Violence

Sexual abuse of children and minors is incredibly common. According to the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN), 1 in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 have experienced sexual abuse from an adult. Girls are far more likely to be victims of sexual abuse; the organization reports that 82% of all victims under 18 are female, and those who do suffer from assault and abuse are more likely to also develop mental health issues like depression, PTSD, and drug abuse.