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Love is a choice you make. Here's how to show it, men!
By The Good Men Project — Last updated on May 20, 2023
By Kimanzi Constable
It’s no secret that relationships take a lot of work, and many today can’t withstand the test of time. Life is hard today for the modern man with challenges that affect us in ways that we sometimes don’t understand. We want to open up, but we have a hard time getting honest about what’s in our hearts and minds.
This year my wife and I celebrate 17 years of marriage — we were married the day after I turned 18. I wish I could tell you it’s been all champagne and roses, but that would be a lie. Just like any other couple, we’ve had our share of good times and bad. We were even separated for a while.
It took too long for me to realize that I had choices that I needed to make every day that would affect our relationship.
I can’t speak for every relationship, or even your relationship because I don’t know the particulars. I can tell you each of us has a choice to make, and there are things we can do every day that prove our love, and help our relationship weather the tough times.
Here are 10 little things women wish guys would do every day to show their love:
1. Be honest, even when you don’t want to
Honesty is hard, especially when we’re afraid that our relationship is in jeopardy. If you can establish complete honesty, you can get through the situations that would typically end most relationships.
2. Open up about your feelings
It’s hard for us as men to open up and express what we’re feeling. There is a stereotype that it’s not "manly.” It is, however, vital to our relationships. Open up and let someone else in.
3. Continue to improve yourself
One important way to feel good is to continue to improve yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you are a more confident man. Confidence is sexy. Continue to be the best version of yourself.
4. Commit to a healthy sex life
Sex is an important part of every romantic relationship. If you can commit to getting in touch with how you feel and what turns you on, you will be a better lover. It will benefit your relationship in ways you may not have anticipated.
5. Do work that matters
We spend 40-plus hours in some form of work. That time affects every other area of our life. If you are doing work that doesn’t fulfill you, it will depress and stress you out. You can find or create work you love, even in today’s economy.
6. Live instead of exist
Truly living doesn’t mean you head to Spain and run with the bulls. It means you commit to never settling in your life. It means that you do whatever it takes to live your dream life.
7. Live each day fully present
No man is guaranteed a moment past right now. We can’t live our life for the future; we have to live each day fully present. We have to be in each moment and fully live it.
8. Show physical affection
Hugging, kissing, and touching is an important part of keeping a healthy relationship. If we love that person, we should want to feel that love in a physical way. Keep your relationship steamy with small displays of physical affection.
9. Control your anger
It’s hard not to react at that moment and with a visible outburst. However, a lack of control could put you in a situation you’ll regret. If you love them, do what you can to control your anger.
10. Treat every day like you’re still in the honeymoon phase
The honeymoon phase in your relationship may be over, but it doesn’t mean you can’t act as if it weren’t. Wake up every day and treat the person you love as if it were the first time you realized it.
Love is not a feeling. It’s a decision. You have to wake up every day and choose to love the person you made a commitment to. Your feelings will come and go, but you control the choices and decisions you make.
If this person is your true love, decide to do the work instead of giving in to how you feel.
Love is amazing. It takes you to places and gives you feelings you didn’t think you were capable of experiencing. It can be wonderful, or it can hurt you. If you’re in a toxic relationship, it may be time to call it quits. Either way, getting honest with yourself about the kind of life you want to live will help you with your choices.
What little things do you do every day that prove your love?
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Kimanzi Constable is the author of four books. His articles have been published in Forbes, Entrepreneur Magazine, Business Insider, SUCCESS Magazine, NBC, CBS, FOX, and 80 other publications and magazines.