Entertainment And News

Dear Tyga: It's Not "Cool" To Brag About Raping Kylie Jenner

Photo: WeHeartIt

We try to be open minded about things, especially love. If two people claim that they love each other, it's not really anyone's business but theirs.

Unless one of those people is underage and the other person is Tyga.

The relationship between Tyga and Kylie Jenner is super-creepy because she only recently turned 18, but they've been dating for a while. Tyga is much older than her, and is clearly some sort of predator, especially given her age and financial standing.

To confront the controversy, Tyga released a song and video called "$timulated." It's supposed to clear everything up, which it does — it clears up the fact that Tyga is a creep and a monster, and everyone is right to be uncomfortable with this whole thing.

The video is just Tyga bragging about his relationship with Kylie, and seriously implying that he banged her before she was legal. Kylie walks around the house, and then they make out.

After watching it, we just felt really bad about the world in general. Here are a few thoughts we had in reaction to "$timulated."

1. Another title for the video could be "Evidence in the Trial."

Tyga had better be careful. If he ever pisses off the Jenners, it'll be super easy for them to ruin his life. All they have to do is press charges for statutory rape, and then show this video at the trial. No other evidence would even be required.

2. He's not famous for rapping anymore.

Before getting into specific points, let's just be clear about this. Tyga is pretty cocky, which is hilarious because he's not famous for rapping. The lyrics to this song, technically speaking, aren't even that good.

If this song wasn't him bragging like a creep about the statutory rape of one of the richest teens in the United States, no one would care about it. He doesn't come across as talented in this, so drop the ego.

3. Apparently, statutory rape is how you get richer.

Tyga repeats the line "this is how you get richer." How? By brainwashing a teenager? Yes, tricking a rich person into supporting you financially will help your bank account, but that isn't really a skill.

4. She doesn't magically get older when she's stimulated.

The famous line is "she's a big girl, dog, when she's stimulated." First, it sounds like he's calling her a "big girl dog," which is hilariously stupid. Also, no. Her age doesn't change.

In fact, he's bragging about stimulating someone who's otherwise not a big girl. How did he think this was a smart thing to say? It's literally the creepiest thing anyone has ever said.

5. He's SO cocky with the line "All I can do is laugh."

OK, but all society can do is brand you a sex criminal. It's weird that he's being cocky about something that can land him on the sex offender registry.

In ten years, when she's dumped him and he has to live in a trailer park and introduce himself to every neighbor whenever he moves, he might look at this song and go "Yeah, that attitude was a little misplaced."

6. We're not opinionated  he's just a criminal.

Tyga asks why everyone is so opinionated. Well, it's because he's breaking the law. He's bragging about having sex with a minor. It's weird that he's confused as to why everyone is creeped out by that.

7. He can't even memorize his own lyrics.

There's a scene in the video where Tyga is rapping outside and he's reading his lyrics from his notebook. These aren't super complex lyrics, Tyga. Just memorize them. We really don't think that's too much to ask from a professional rapper.

8. These are Fred Durst-level lyrics.

After about the eight hundredth f-word, this song started to feel like something Fred Durst would've written. If you don't know who Fred Durst is, he's the singer from Limp Bizkit. He's pretty much a Vanilla Ice that rapped over distorted guitars and actually had a longer career.

9. The dollar sign in the title is very appropriate.

The title for the video is displayed at the beginning and end, and it's spelled as "$timulated." The dollar sign is very appropriate, because it's clear that's why Tyga is with Kylie Jenner. She's one of the richest teens in the country, so we don't believe for a second that Tyga just happens to genuinely be in love with her.

10. You can't be a statutory rapist AND be intimidating.

There's literally nothing less intimidating than bragging about banging underage girls. That's what makes this song not just super creepy, but also weird.

It's like Tyga is trying to get in our faces and be like, "What now?" and we're all just going to be like, "Yeah, we still think that you're a sex offender."