Why Are The Words We Use For "Having Sex" So Rape-y?

Most of the time when we talk about sex, it isn't in flowery and poetic terms — it's harsh and brutal. Words are powerful and have the ability to make us feel, and take action. So does the English language actually perpetuate a rape culture?

Sometimes you want dirty talk, and it can be a way to immediately get excited and juiced up. Other times you want words that seduce you.

Every culture has their own terms for having sex, like "get it on," "knock boots," "tap that," "ball," "get busy," "boning," "shagging," "jump your bones," "bump and grind," and, "go all the way," just to name a few.

After reprimanding my friend for talking about his conquests in a really crude way, he now uses "get to know better" instead of "having sex" with someone. It sounds so silly and old-fashioned, as if it's something Mr. Darcy would say. Of course, in Jane Austen novels, kissing is scandalous enough.

Holysmokes.org provides a collection of the disturbing euphemisms we use for "having sex," which actually promote rape culture:

1. Sex as a game: If you play your cards right, you can score. You can hit it, so hopefully you'll get a home run. You don't want to strike out, grand slam, kick it.

2. Words associated with home: You want to nail it, roll in the hay, dip your wick, do the feather bed jig, shake the sheets, mattress dancing, thread a needle, wind the clock, rock the casbah, bedroom rodeo, rolling the newspaper, knock mops, and feed the kitty.

3. War words: Banging, hit that, getting shot down, and shoot your gun.

4. Women as passive: She put out for me, do me, pin.

5. Sex as instruction: Show a woman a good time. He could teach her a thing or two. Baby, you've never been with anyone as good as me.

6. Possessive sex: Have her, get her, she's tight-assed.

7. Food: Hide the salami, get stuffed, piece of ass, boning, making bacon, churn butter, porking.

8. Women as objects: Cute thang. I'd tap that. I'd do that.

9. Women as animals: Foxy, cute chick. Nice beaver. Let's make the beast with two backs.

10. Clinical: Intercourse, coitus, fornication.

11. Crude talk: Screw, f*ck, f*ck the sh*t out of her, put my d*ck in that, pound, hard.

12. Silly euphemisms: Boff, boink, diddle, jiffy stiffy, quickie, give her a bone, horizontal bop, get lucky, hot beef injection, knock boots.

13. Old-fashioned: Schtupp, slap and tickle, go all the way, a bit of how's your father, bed, make love.

14. Miscellaneous: Balls deep, bump nasties, bump uglies, bugger, do the nasty, have a go.

​Timing is everything with sex talk. What would be grounds for sexual harassment at the office, might be just what you need at home.

However, no woman or man should ever be in a place of fear (unless that's how they express their sexuality), made to feel less than human, or think they're just a receptacle for someone else's needs.​

H/T Holysmokes.org.