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Ladies, know the red flags before the date is even over.
By Hashim R. Hathaway — Written on Aug 17, 2015
Picture, for a moment, the perfect evening: Everything is going fantastic and the mood is just right. Whether you're out on the town for dinner and drinks, or enjoying a relaxing evening at home watching a movie, you know what you want and you know you're about to get it.
That is, until he opens his mouth and ruins everything.
There are many ways a man can manage to talk his way out of getting laid. From unreasonable sexual demands to killing the mood with talk of politics or religion, if there's a way to put out flames of lust and passion, some guys are destined to find themselves going from the Love Shack to the Doghouse.
We talked to a number of women who were willing to share exactly what it is that men have done that set off red flags. Here's seven that stood out from the pack:
1. He insults his date.
Nothing says, "I'd rather masturbate with my tears tonight" more than being a jackass to a date, especially at dinner.
Julie, 39, says the best way to kill any chances of getting laid at the end of the night is to "passive-aggressively insult her all night then act like she 'owes' you for that cheap-ass dinner you bought her."
Looking at sex from a quid-pro-quo standpoint will always be a surefire way to guarantee one more lonely night.
2. He counts his chickens before they've hatched.
Confidence can be sexy, but overconfidence can be fatal when it comes to going home with that special someone.
Charlotte, 30, doesn't like to be told how her night is going to end, saying, "It's one thing to do the 'you're going to like me' thing to start a conversation, but to state matter-of-fact that I'm going to consent to sleep with you would offend me."
Just because she's having a good time, it doesn't guarantee that a good time will continue into the bedroom, just because he thinks it should.
3. He sets boundaries even before the clothes come off.
Sometimes a roll in the hay is just a roll in the hay, but if premature effort is made to set rules and guidelines before sex — saying things like, "I'm not looking to get involved," or, "I just want to have some fun" — it only ends up making someone self-conscious about what's about to happen, which can keep it from happening altogether.
Charlotte goes on to say, "If a line is automatically drawn instead of letting things flow naturally, I generally wouldn't go there. He just sent up a red flag that something is up with which you didn't want to deal."
Having sex with someone new can bring a level of anxiety on its own; the last thing anyone wants to deal with are conditions or demands.
4. He takes his new partner on a trip down a sexual memory lane.
This should be a no-brainer, but more often than not, a guy — while trying to puff up his own sexual credentials — will make the mistake of sharing tales of yesteryear in someone else's bedroom when it's the last thing she wants to hear.
Kamilah, 37, says, "bringing up an ex or discussing a former sex partner is a definite no-no," and something that's not only sure to kill the mood, but cause a total re-evaluation of any chance of sex in the future.
No matter how good the sex was with the ex, most women would prefer guys to keep those stories buried in the closet.
5. He seriously pushes his luck.
Chalk this up to a guy's reach exceeding his grasp, but for Kassie, 39, the easiest way a man can talk himself out of getting laid is to suggest a threesome. While threesomes might've been a fun experiment back in college, the last thing most women want to hear is a request for more hands on deck.
If a dude is asking for a threesome, chances are his interest level in her alone isn't enough to keep the fires burning, and who really wants to share anyway?
6. He tries to be a pundit in the bedroom.
Everyone has an opinion, but when a guy starts spouting his personal or political beliefs without being asked, it can throw cold water on any potentially hot evening. According to Amanda, 32, having the wrong politics can cause her to dry up when it counts:
"If everything is going great, but the conversation turns to politics at any point and it's clear he's a racist, sexist, or homophobe, then no sex for him. He could look like f*cking Jared Leto, but if he's a Republican, no way. And I love Jared Leto."
There's a time and place for everything, but when it's time to get naked, it's best to leave politics out of the bedroom.
7. He checks out a server while on a date.
Some people simply have no chill. To say that checking out a server while sitting across from a date might be more than a little rude is an understatement, but the last thing someone who hopes to get laid should ever do is call attention to it.
Colleen, 36, knows all too well what that feels like:
"While having drinks at a bar in the middle of Podunk nowhere in southern Michigan, my date turns to me and says, 'Do you think the waitress can take it in the ass as well as you?' I looked at him and said, "Hey bro, she's like 15 years younger than you and GUESS WHAT we're not doing today?"
If there's any lesson guys can take from this list, it's this: when it comes to sex, there are so many better things men could be doing with their mouths other than talking their way out of a good time.