Self, Sex

33 Normal Thoughts Every Girl Has While A Guy Goes Down On Her

Photo: WeHeartIt

Don't get me wrong: I love it when my man goes down on me. But, I also tend to pick the most inopportune moments to over-think things.

My brain is constantly worrying, about everything from body insecurities to chores left unfinished. Unfortunately, this also applies to oral sex, when my brain wanders to just about everything except enjoying the moment.

Here are just 33 of the most random thoughts I've had during oral sex:

1. Wow, that feels incredible.

2. Whoa! Take it easy, fella.

3. Slower.

4. Better.

5. I don't want to look at him.

6. I don't want him to look at my belly.


7. Or my thighs.

8. I wonder if he thinks my thighs might suffocate him?

9. I mean, he's practically spelunking down there.

10. Maybe I could get him one of those hats with a light on it. I wonder if he'd think it was funny.

11. WAIT! FOCUS. This feels amazing.


12. C'mon, brain, get it together. Let's get back in the game.

13. Think sexy thoughts.

14. Yes, sexy lingerie ...

15. Did I put the laundry in the dryer?

16. I'm pretty sure my clean underwear are all in there.

17. Damnit! Concentrate.


18. Is he heading south? No, the action's up at The North Pole, babe.

19. Let me just tilt the hips ... Oh, yep! That's it. We're back in business.

20. I wonder why it takes me so long to finish.

21. Probably because I can't get my brain to shut up.


22. Are his eyes open?

23. I can't bring myself to look. What if he's just staring back at me?

24. What's the protocol on head grabbing again?

25. OH GOD, YES. Right there!

26. How long has it been?

27. He probably wonders if I'm ever going to climax.


28. I bet I gave him lockjaw by now.

29. Poor guy, he's been working so hard.

30. Maybe we can just move on to sex.

31. But I don't want him to feel like this was all for nothing.

32. I don't want him to — OH MY GOD, yes yes yes!


33. OK, I wasn't entirely faking it. It felt great, but I think we're both starting to cramp.