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Yeah, she's difficult — but for good reason.
By Alex Alexander
Last updated on Apr 02, 2024
Guys, let's face it: some women are just difficult.
They don't do what you want, when you want them to. They don't want to watch football with you or partake in your hobbies. They won't cook you dinner or cater to your specific needs. What gives?
There are some brutally honest truths about loving a difficult woman, but it might just be the best decision of your life.
Here are 10 signs of a difficult woman that makes loving her a challenge
1. She's cynical
While cynicism may be off-putting to some, a difficult woman uses it as a way to protect herself from being disappointed. This type of woman tends to be doubtful of people's intentions and, as such, is hesitant to be vulnerable.
However, a difficult woman must learn that most people are inherently good, and while she doesn't need to trust others completely, there's no harm in giving people a chance.
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2. She makes the decisions
For the difficult woman, decision-making is all about her needs, especially about what she wants to eat and wear. A romantic partner may enjoy seeing her in a tank top, but she might prefer to wear a sweater.
She's incredibly bold with what she wants, and doesn't exactly welcome the opinions of others, particularly those she's closest to, like a spouse or a family member. This makes her come off as controlling, but it all stems from self-reliance.
3. She's incredibly independent
Whether it's making her own money, enjoying her alone time, or planning for the future, difficult women are often very independent. She prides herself on not having to rely on anyone except herself — to the point where she may end up pushing others away.
While she does things on her own time, there is such a thing as being too independent. And to have a more fulfilling life, she should also focus on opening up to others and building trust, instead of hiding from what she fears might happen.
4. She has overprotective friends
A difficult woman may be hard to deal with sometimes, but she is the company she keeps, meaning her friends are also kind of finicky. They are very similar to her, and act as both a support system and a sounding board of sorts.
She keeps her friend group small, as they know all her deepest desires and secrets. As such, they may not warm up to others quickly, including a romantic partner. Any potential mate should know that they are seen as a potential threat, which may kill the chances of being with her.
5. She wants you to express your feelings
This is probably the hardest thing about loving a difficult woman. She wants you to be expressive with how you feel, communicating what you need and want. After all, being open is an essential trait of any healthy relationship.
It may feel uncomfortable, as she might not exactly want to be vulnerable in turn. But the fact that you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings proves to her that you're genuine and caring.
6. But she holds her own emotions deep inside
Despite wanting her romantic partner to express themselves, a difficult woman won't necessarily return the favor. She prefers to hold her emotions in, keeping a stoic and composed outward appearance.
But it's not because she doesn't want to grow closer; it's just her protecting herself as a result of past hurts. Be sure to approach her with patience, understanding that it's just a coping mechanism and that, deep down, she's taking her time in feeling safe enough to share with you.
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7. She keeps her past a secret
For many people, letting go of the past is extremely tough. And one of the most glaring signs of a difficult woman is her inability to overcome her hardships and trauma from the past. That means she often hides details from that time.
Fearing judgment and being vulnerable, she wants things to remain private, which is completely understandable. However, it can hinder her chances of maintaining a healthy relationship that's fully transparent. It's best for her romantic partner to gently encourage her to open up, creating a deeper understanding.
8. She's in control of her home life
Loving a difficult woman means leaving the housework to her. She will do the household chores and even be in charge of paying the bills, but if you forget to take out the garbage, you might see a side of her you'll regret, no matter how much she loves you.
She strives for perfection in her sacred space — her home — but may create tension by micromanaging others. It's best for her to find a balance, letting over-organization fall to the wayside sometimes, embracing a more relaxed environment.
9. She wants immediate gratification
When she calls someone, she expects a return call almost instantly. When that person doesn't call back for days, and then extends a call, she may have already decided to cut ties with them. That's because a difficult woman demands respect, and acting this way is, to her, rude.
She's impatient by nature, wanting instant results and validation for her efforts. And while this may be motivating for some, it can also bring disappointment when things don't quite go her way.
10. On the inside, she's an amazing person
Loving a difficult woman may come with a few roadblocks, but the truth is that the most obvious sign of a difficult woman is just how wonderful she is.
Despite the complexities of her personality and the challenges she faces, she has a depth of character. She's resilient, loyal, determined, and strong — all incredible qualities that make her stand out.
Though loving her may be a challenge, it's important to recognize her strengths, embrace her for who she is, and create a truly meaningful connection with this exceptional woman in your life.
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Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.