7 Gross Ways My Husband And I Basically Have No Boundaries

Oh, the gross things about marriage.

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If you've ever been married or in a serious relationship, you know there are boundaries that come with those relationships. If you've been in one long enough, you know that you eventually cross those boundaries. Whether you admit to crossing them is an entirely different story.

Fortunately for you, I'm willing to sacrifice my pride and open myself up to ridicule and embarrassment just so you can feel more normal about all the weird crap you do in your marriage, but are too embarrassed to admit.


(And don't pretend like you haven't done at least a few of the things on this list. You have ... and it's totally cool.)

1He makes me look at long ingrown hairs that he pulls out. (And yes, some are actually kind of impressive.) I frequently hear groans from my husband coming from the restroom but I know he's just wresting with an ingrown neck hair. He calls it "fighting the good fight," and based upon some of the hairs he's been victorious in removing, it's clear he really is waging war.

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2He's used the bathrooom while I'm in the shower. Don't judge, unless you want to buy us a house with 2 bathrooms.

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3He cuts his toenails in the kitchen while I eat dinner. We don't always get home at the same time so we don't always eat dinner together. Because my husband loves to be with me whenever he can, he will do some of his regular activities, talking to me while I eat questionable-looking leftovers. Sometimes, those activities are unloading the dishwasher. Sometimes it's cutting his toenails. Either way, it's quality time.

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4He asks me to pull his finger. And I do it. At some point in a relationship, your feelings about your partner's bodily functions go from disgust, to acceptance, to hilarity. I'm not sure when these changes happen, I just know they do.

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5I've smelled his socks to see if they're clean or dirty. It was done at his request; it's not like I volunteered for the job. But as a couple, we're definitely fiscally conscious and responsible, and love to save some cash. We also love the environment, so if sniffing some socks to see if they're too potent to wear will save a tree and a few bucks, we're all about it. I just make sure to keep my mouth closed when I make that sniff.

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6He helped me remove a skin tag with apple cider vinegar. We've all seen a Pinterest project that we've wanted to try. Sure, most of them are home improvement projects or ways to organize your closet, but some of them are ways to get rid of a skin tag. That one is definitely a two-person job.

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7I coralled the dogs and cleaned up his puke while he continued to projectile vomit all over the room. This was a dark hour in our relationship. He wasn't hurling because of the flu. I probably would've been more understanding about that. Rather, it was because of a night of dollar shots at the bar that he thought went great with chasers of beer. Based upon the contents of what I cleaned up, nowhere in that evening did he order food of any kind. I say this crossed some boundaries because no one should have to see what I saw that night. It haunts me to this day.

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