Uh, GROSS! 10 Celebrities Who Married Their Own Cousins

There are a ton of rich, famous, important people who have married their cousins. Rich, famous, important people who could marry whoever they wanted still chose to marry their cousins. And not all of them were from West Virginia. What the Hell, man?

This is a gross one. Like, it's hard for me to write something silly about this concept because it's just so gross. I mean, seriously?

I know that famous people get to get away with stuff that most of us wouldn't, but there's a line.

That line is drawn way before being able to marry your cousin even comes up. I guess in the old world it was more common. I mean, people didn't travel as much, so there were fewer options. Stuff like this makes me glad that I was born in the modern world, because things are way less gross.

So, here we go! Here are ten famous people who married their cousins. Just something to keep in mind next time you watch Footloose. Kevin Bacon dances dirty with his cousin.

If you need me, I'll be dry heaving somewhere.

1. Edgar Allen Poe

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I guess it makes sense that Edgar Allen Poe would have a pretty creepy personal life. He married his first cousin, which is already icky, but she was also only 13 at the time.

2. Kevin Bacon

20th Century Fox

Kevin Bacon claims that he didn't know that he and his wife, Kyra Sedgewick were cousins. To be fair, they're 9th cousins. I have no idea what that means, but it's still weird.

3. Jerry Lee Lewis

Artists First

Classic rock singer Jerry Lee Lewis made headlines in the bad way when he married his 13-year-old cousin. It turns out, being a great musician isn't enough to make people overlook something like that.

4. Johann Sebastian Bach

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I'm assuming that you probably rock out to some Bach pretty regularly. Well, just remember that he married his cousin and had a ton of children with her. Yeah, just sit and think about that, fancypants!

5. Thomas Jefferson

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I think we just need to admit that our founding fathers weren't awesome people. Among other things, Thomas Jefferson married his third cousin. That's probably why no one uses $2 bills anymore.

6. Christopher Robin Milne

Walt Disney Pictures

Did you know Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh was based on the author's actual kid, Christopher Robin Milne? Yeah, most people do, and if you didn't know that then you really need to bone up on your Winnie the Pooh trivia. Most people don't know that the real Christopher Robbins married his first cousin. That's like Eeyore marrying Piglet. If Piglet was his cousin.

7. Franklin Delano Roosevelt

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Franklin Delano Roosevelt wasn't even president that long ago! Ew! Did voters know about this? Was Roosevelt's campaign slogan "Marry your cousins! It's cool!" No, Roosevelt, it's not cool.

8. H.G. Wells

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H.G. Wells authored War of the Worlds and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, but he also tied the knot with one of his first cousins. That's the actual reason why the Martians all died off in War of the Worlds. Earth was just too creepy. 

9. Charles Darwin

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Apparently, Charles Darwin was an expert in evolution but not in being not creepy. He and his first cousin got married and then had way too many kids. I mean, one kid with your cousin is way too many, but these two had ten kids. YUCK. Imagine what that did to the species!

10. Rudy Giuliani

Fox News Channel

Rudy Giuliani claims he didn't know his first wife was his second cousin. Sure, that's an honest mistake. He probably thought it was just a coincidence they kept showing up to the same family reunions.